Tuesday, January 31, 2017

So Pure - Baby D

So Pure - Baby DSo Pure - Baby DSo Pure. Like snow? Like fragrance-free soap? Like distilled water? No. According to the original single cover artwork, Baby D tells us that what is pure, is a lightning storm. Maybe it is pure, but it is also messy and dangerous. On the remix we find a babe who is, in some ways very pure and in others very impure. Just focus on the pure elements, and this remix makes sense. Focus on the impure and it is about as logical as Doctor McCoy. Trek!

Monday, January 30, 2017

Watermelon Man - Rafael Nunez

Watermelon Man - Rafael NunezWatermelon Man - Rafael NunezRafael Nunez has got it half right. On the original cover artwork for his album Watermelon Man, he shows a watermelon, but the person holding it is not a man, but is instead female (at least that is what she appears to be - looks can be deceptive!) On the remix nothing much has changed except that it is now almost beyond doubt that the person holding the watermelon is female. Fruit!

Sunday, January 29, 2017

The Widow - The Mars Volta

The Widow - The Mars VoltaThe Widow - The Mars VoltaThe Mars Volta, the name alone conjures up images of deepest darkest Africa mixed with the fearsome red planet. The Widow conjures up pictures of a lady mourning for her dead husband. The original single cover artwork shows a woman climbing down a tree. The remix brings the picture into slightly clearer focus as we find a widow, possibly from Mars, mourning something or other. Sorrow!

Saturday, January 28, 2017

If You Were A Sailboat - Katie Melua

If You Were A Sailboat - Katie MeluaIf You Were A Sailboat - Katie MeluaWhat Katie Melua seems to be telling us on the original cover artwork of her single If You Were A Sailboat is that it is rather misty down at the docks where she is awaiting the arrival of the incoming ships. On the remix we find a different babe awaiting the arrival of incoming ships down in the boatyard, but the fog has lifted and we discover (what a surprise) that she is all but naked, except for the hat she appears to have stolen from a passing sailor. Ahoy!

Friday, January 27, 2017

Love Is Like A Violin - Ken Dodd

Love Is Like A Violin - Ken DoddLove Is Like A Violin - Ken DoddKen Dodd attempts to tell us that Love Is Like A Violin by, if the original single cover artwork is to be believed, looking a bit gormless and using his fingers as a mock dicky-bow. The remix tells a different story of a babe playing a violin. A babe who has clearly had some love, probably around 6 or 7 months ago. Maybe her baby will enjoy the violin playing and grow up with a love of it. String!

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Ride A Wild Horse - Dee Clark

Ride A Wild Horse - Dee ClarkRide A Wild Horse - Dee ClarkRide A Wild Horse. Not a great idea if you are lacking cowboy training. But Dee Clark advises us to do it. On the original single cover artwork we find a wild horse attempting to be tamed by a lame tamer in a silly hat. On the remix we find a babe who has decided to look like a horse by wearing leather galoshes and, or so it would seem, inserting a pony-tail into her ass. Neigh!

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Let's Clean Up The Ghetto - Philadelphia International All Stars

Let's Clean Up The Ghetto - Philadelphia International All StarsLet's Clean Up The Ghetto - Philadelphia International All StarsBrushes and mops out, Let's Clean Up The Ghetto. Or at least that is what the Philadelphia International All Stars wanted us to do in 1977. The original cover artwork has no cleaning equipment visible. The remix helps as we find a ghetto babe doing some cleaning. Why she is doing this in wedge heels and no panties is anyone's guess, but perhaps that is what the ghetto is like. Downtown!

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Bends - Radiohead

The Bends - RadioheadThe Bends - RadioheadAnother remix for Radiohead, anyone would have thought that we had planned that! Today it is the turn of their 1995 album The Bends. The original cover artwork for the album is another of their epic fails. Its only saving grace is that it might have been bendy if you took the album out of the sleeve and just played with the sleeve. The remix is simple. A babe who has the bends. So much so that she is heels over head. Chair!

Monday, January 23, 2017

Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead

Fake Plastic Trees - RadioheadFake Plastic Trees - RadioheadThe original cover artwork for Radiohead's single Fake Plastic Trees is awful. It has no trees of any kind on it, whether real or fake. The remix on the other hand has got some trees on it, but, I hear you say, those are not fake trees. No, they are not. The fake plastic is in the hands of the babe resting among the trees. So maybe the title should take on a comma, e.g. Fake Plastic, Trees. Unreal!

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Parking Lot - Nelly Furtado

Parking Lot - Nelly FurtadoParking Lot - Nelly FurtadoNelly Furtado's idea of a Parking Lot appears, if the cover artwork of her single is to be believed, to be an empty parking lot, with a tree growing in it. Our idea of a parking lot involves having a naked babe (well other than for her heels) waiting patiently against the wall of an underground parking lot until we return to let her into the car. The question, therefore, is which of these versions do you prefer? Garage!