Friday, November 30, 2012

Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - Eurythmics

Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - EurythmicsTo be brutal, Annie Lennox the lead singer of the Eurythmics, has always had a face that would cause nightmares more than it would 'Sweet Dreams'; her scary, androgynous looks being more akin to salt and vinegar chips than smooth silky chocolate. There are, of course, those who like salt and vinegar chips and in the words of Ms Lennox herself in this 1983 single, ‘Who am I do disagree?’ But the picture of Ms Lennox on cover, no matter how small, does not elicit dreams of the sugary kind. Notwithstanding Ms Lennox’s acerbic charm, Mr Dave Stewart her partner in the band who is not, thankfully, shown on the cover, would add little by the way of counterbalancing flavour, being similar in visage to an unfashionable porcupine.

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Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - EurythmicsThe revised cover is definitely something that ‘sweet dreams are made of’. Sugar and spice and all things nice. Almost. But surely even the biggest sucrophobe¹ would have to admit that the selection of desserts is highly tempting. In the song Ms Lennox points out that ‘Everybody is Looking for Something’. The meaning of this is now much more apparent. Whilst some may seek one particular type of sucrolytic² satisfaction through, for example, the medium of cake, others may find similar satisfaction in buns or tarts. Paradoxically, tarts seem to be more favoured by men who like to try many different kinds until they find one they like, whereas buns are more often preferred by females who will often test to see how firm they are before deciding which one to take.

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¹ A ‘sucrophobe’ is someone who dislikes sugary things. ‘Sucro’ is taken from ‘sucrose’ meaning sugar, and ‘phobe’ is short for ‘phobia’ meaning ‘an irrational fear or aversion to something’.

² ‘Sucrolytic’ means ‘causing pleasurable collapse through sucrorial³ intake’. ‘Sucro’ is taken from ‘sucrose’ meaning sugar, and ‘lytic’ means ‘something that causes one to break down or become loose.

³ ‘Sucrorial’ means ‘relating to or connected with sucrose (sugar)’.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Midas Touch - Midnight Star

Midas Touch - Midnight StarIt is great to receive submissions from people who are getting the hang of what AllBum.Art is all about. This one is from two ladies who call themselves 'Ms Holly Da Yin' and 'Ms Mary Ott'. They were rather bored by the cover for the 1986 cover of the single 'Midas Touch' by Midnight Star. The black cover with red lettering and the addition of a tiny amount of gold, did not seem, to them, to reflect the notion that 'everything' that was touched 'turned to gold'. Surely, in such a situation, the single cover itself would be completely gold (and anyone who bought it would now be very rich, given the rise in gold prices in recent years).

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Midas Touch - Midnight StarMs Da Yin and Ms Ott instead fused the original cover with that of a picture of Ms Paris Hilton (a made-up name if ever there was one) who had been turned to gold. All her surroundings have also turned to gold, though it seems that the gold is still in a liquid state meaning that the temperature would have had to have been over 1,000°C. Although some regard Ms Hilton as 'hot', at this kind of temperature, surely even she would have been burned to a frazzle. Regardless of this strange contradiction, Ms Da Yin and Ms Ott are to be congratulated on their fine contribution and awarded a gold star for their efforts.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

White Wedding - Billy Idol

White Wedding - Billy IdolIt is time to return once again to Mr Billy Idol, this time to his 1982 song 'White Wedding' again courtesy of Brent Gdzinski of Charleston, SC. There is some controversy over the meaning of the song but general agreement that being 'a nice day for a White Wedding' is less to do with the weather, and more that the idea of white weddings is connected with lace and frills and heightened emotional awareness and thus, what Mr Idol is really saying is that it is 'a nice day to go hunting for women'. In the cover of the single, if you look carefully, you will notice that the wedding dress that the girl is wearing has been undone, presumably by Mr Idol, and that it is beginning to fall off.

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White Wedding - Billy IdolMr Gdzinski's update cover takes the story forward around a half an hour, where he picks up the story:

Having argued with Mr Idol about his manhandling of her dress, she has wandered off. Unfortunately, instead of heading back to the wedding breakfast, she has ended up deeper in the forest. Without a pin to repair her dress, it has fallen down, having been caught on a sharp twig.

It is to be hoped that Mr Idol shows some repentance and heads off into the forest to help out the maiden whose wedding day he has no doubt ruined.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Bad Girls - Donna Summer

Bad Girls - Donna SummerDonna Summer's 1979 disco classic 'Bad Girls' was supposedly inspired after one of Donna's assistants was stopped by a police officer who thought she was a prostitute. How such a mistake could have been made is unknown, however the cover of the single shows Donna leaning against a lamp-post in typical 1970s disco garb. Presumably the police officer in question had never been to a discotheque of the time and was unfamiliar with the idea that just because a woman is wearing stockings, high heels and a skirt that is split up to the thigh does not imply that she is a prostitute but just a regular 'girl about town'.

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Bad Girls - Donna SummerOf course the title of Ms Summer's song is 'Bad Girls'. Note the emphasis on the plural. Yet, on the cover there is only the one girl - Ms Summer herself - in the picture. As previously stated, the fact that the clothes she is wearing are typical of the time does not really do the title justice. In this updated version, the police officer has gone and in his place are two very bad girls, in fact they are so naughty that they are standing by Ms Summer's lamp-post but, it would seem, naked other than some high heels and a hat. It is now pretty certain that if the police officer were to see them, his supposition that they were prostitutes would be much more accurate and in any case, being naked in a public place would surely call for their arrest regardless.

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Monday, November 26, 2012

Divinyls - Divinyls

Divinyls - DivinylsAustralian band Divinyls released their self-titled album in 1991. They are probably most famous for their song 'I Touch Myself' which reached number 1 in their home country and number 4 in the US Billboard Top 100. Both the cover of the single 'I Touch Myself' and of their album 'Divinyls' featured the lead singer wearing a fishnet type dress with apparently nothing underneath. On the single cover we get to see her naked bum, though with shadows playing over the photo, it's not easy to make out whether she is nude or is faking it. On the album cover, she is facing sideways and 'touching herself' in a way that still doesn't clear up the nakedness question.

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Divinyls - DivinylsThis alternative version answers the nakedness question to a larger extent. Now we see the singer has turned to face us and has put her hands down by her sides revealing that she is, clearly, topless. Oddly her face and hairstyle have changed and the dress she is wearing seems to have a different spacing in the mesh, but this could just be a trick of the light. It does appear that she might be completely nude, however the album title is obscuring the part of her body that would provide a full frontal answer, so that particular enigma will remain untouched for now.

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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Hot In The City - Billy Idol

Hot In The City - Billy IdolOriginally released in 1982 but a bigger hit when re-released in 1987, Billy Idol's 'Hot In The City' was also used in the feature film 'Big'. It seems reasonable to presume, from the cover, that Mr Idol was indeed rather warm as he is not wearing any shirt. The picture of the topless Mr Idol with his big medallion and his bejeaned legs spread as if to invite the viewer to examine his crotch will have no doubt made many females at the time 'Hot In The City'. The city in question, incidentally, appears to be New York as this is the city whose name is yelled part way through the song. A 'Rebel Yell' perhaps?

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Hot In The City - Billy IdolThe lyrics to Mr Idol's song scream, 'You know that it's Hot in the City tonight'. Thank you to Brent Gdzinski of Charleston, SC, who supplied this alternative version of the cover. In Brent's words:

I felt that if it was as hot in the city as Mr Idol made out, the ladies of the said city would keep cool by walking the streets naked. Indeed, this has proved to be the case as I went out in the city the other night when it was hot and saw this lady trying to keep cool. I thought it would make a fitting cover.

Brent has a point there, and we thank him for his submission and look forward to seeing what results from the next hot night in Charleston.

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Saturday, November 24, 2012

On The 6 - Jennifer Lopez

On The 6 - Jennifer LopezThe cover of Jennifer Lopez's (J-Lo to her fans) 1999 album 'On The 6' features none other than Ms Lopez herself kneeling on a cream colored sofa in a tight fitting t-shirt and skimpy gold shorts. One can't help wondering whether Ms Lopez got the idea for the gold shorts from Ms Kylie Minogue who made such attire famous in her video 'Spinning Around', though as Ms Minogue's video was released the year after Ms Lopez's album, it is possible that it was Ms Minogue that committed plagiarism having seen Ms Lopez's album cover in a record shop. Of it's possible that we should be so lucky and that it could just be a happy coincidence.

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On The 6 - Jennifer LopezWhat is little know about the particular photo shoot at which the album cover for 'On The 6' was produced is that the sofa on which Ms Lopez is kneeling was also being used for two other photo shoots at the same time. The photographers didn't want the expense of hiring in the sofa on another date and so used the prop multiple times.

The first alternative of this triple-play shoot that was going on was for this very buxom latin lady (one wonders if she is a friend of Ms Lopez) who, it is clear, would not have fitted into the t-shirt that Ms Lopez was wearing. In fact it is questionable whether she would fit into any t-shirt that wasn't specially elasticated to contain her boobs. Perhaps, therefore, she walks around topless like this all the time to avoid the cost of buying such a costly bespoke t-shirt.

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On The 6 - Jennifer LopezDown the other end of the sofa was another pretty girl who was also having her photo taken. Given the size of her boobs, she would definitely have fit into Ms Lopez's t-shirt, however like the latin lady above, she isn't wearing one. Perhaps the photographers, having splashed out on hiring the sofa, didn't have enough money left to buy a second t-shirt. Or maybe Ms Lopez was being a bit precious about her t-shirt and didn't want to lend it to the pretty young model kneeling further down the sofa. It seems whatever the reason, she was left with no panties to wear either but oddly she does appear to have a pair of high heel shoes to wear. As Ms Lopez is not wearing shoes, perhaps she was generous enough to give hers to this model, though it hardly covers anything and would certainly have not helped her keep warm. it is to be hoped that the studio concerned have learnt their lessons and will be better equipped with clothes in the future. Or then again, maybe not.

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Friday, November 23, 2012

Feels Like I'm In Love - Kelly Marie

Feels Like I'm In Love - Kelly MarieAlthough this cover has been filed under '1980s singles', the actual album art that has been modernized is from the 2006 'Best of' album which also happens to have the same name as Kelly Marie's most famous single, 'Feels Like I'm In Love'.

The original single cover from the Scottish songstress is rather more plain than this one in which a late 70s/early 80s style model is pictured lying on red satin sheets in a see-through bra, stockings and strappy silver high heels. This is probably not Kelly Marie herself (though it could be), but a model brought (bought) in for the occasion.

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Feels Like I'm In Love - Kelly MarieDespite the cover being relatively raunchy, it has been further modernized by AllBum.Art to include a much sexier female model in a similar outfit and on the same red satin sheets. Unfortunately, her bra seems to have come of and, unless mistaken, it looks as if someone has begun pulling her panties down too, as they seem to be not quite where they should be. At least her stockings seem to be intact. She's also facing the other direction, perhaps she is left-handed and the original model is right-handed, or maybe it's the photographer that has the opposite handedness. Then again, who cares?

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Thursday, November 22, 2012

Chic - Chic

Chic - ChicThe cover for Chic's imaginatively titled 1977 debut album 'Chic' has on its cover two sultry looking ladies blowing referee's whistles. The ladies concerned are typical of the disco divas of the time being in their twenties and having long hair. What they are wearing is unknown as there is nothing in the picture to indicate that they are wearing anything at all. The inclusion of the referee's whistles is believed to represent a juxtaposition between the distunality of the sound they produce with the tonality of the groovy disco music that is contained inside the sleeve of the record. Either that, or people just liked to blow whistles at discos in the 1970s (much more likely).

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Chic - ChicThings have moved on since the 1970s and ladies who attend discos are now much younger than they used to be. In fact the term 'ladies' no longer really applies and 'girls' is a more common and arguably more accurate description. Of course there are far more derogatory terms in use but there is no need to repeat these. In the revised album cover the question of what is being worn has been answered and it is clear to see that the girl (whose age now more accurately reflects those of modern disco-goers) is, in fact, wearing next to nothing. The air of mystery has been retained by cutting the picture of at the waist so that it is not clear whether she is just topless, or whether she is, in fact, completely naked.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Power - Ice-T

Power - Ice-TThe cover for Ice-T's album 'Power' is already one of the sexier covers around and caused a stir at the time. According to WikiPedia:

The album cover, photographed by Glen E. Friedman, was the subject of controversy upon its original release, due to the provocative pose of Darlene Ortiz, Ice-T's girlfriend at the time.

Ms Ortiz was obviously the one with the 'Power' given that she is stood holding a whip and although she hasn't gone for the full dominatrix outfit (the white slingshot bikini not being normal mistress clothing), you get the impression that she has the upper hand over the two hapless rappers.

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Power - Ice-TTime has moved on and Ms Ortiz is no longer Ice-T's girlfriend so the time is surely right for Ice to take back the power. Ms Ortiz has therefore been replaced by two similarly attired black beauties whose poses suggest that it is Ice-T that has the power now. With one flick of his wrists he would be nicely positioned between two topless busty babes.

Mind you, surrounded by those two, even Ice-T might find their powers of persuasion difficult to turn down!

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