Oh dear, what a missed opportunity. The Red Hot Chili Peppers should have known better when they produced the cover for their 2006 album Snow (Hey Oh). So many opportunities for pictures of snow scenes or similarly chilly vistas. Thank goodness then for AllBum.Art for correcting this anomaly and replacing their ersatz cover artwork for something that is snowy, but remains red hot. Pepper!
Another remix for those British electro-pop duo, Eurythmics. On the cover of their single You Have Placed A Chill In My Heart, we find the band's lead singer looking very forlorn, but not that chilly, though the bleakness of the landscape in the background gives no clues as to the air temperature. On the remix we see an altogether happier looking babe, who is definitely chilly and we can see she is getting a chill on her heart because she has covered it in snow. Flake!
A minor hit from the early 80s for the Rolling Stones and their song Ring Of Ice. On the original cover for the single, we find the red lipped logo of the band, spewing forth something that is then apparently freezing. But this tells us not, who 'she' is, and why she is 'cold'. The remix solves both these problems as we see that 'she' is a naked babe and the reason she is 'cold' is that she is sitting on the snow on a forest footpath. Ouch!
December is upon us and whilst it's not time to roll out the Christmas Crackers just yet, it is time for the thermometer to drop and to start doing remixes of cold and chilly songs. Today it is the turn of Jennifer Rush and her song Ring Of Ice. In the original artwork we find Ms Rush looking vaguely cold by the fact that she is somewhat blue in color. On the remix we see a babe outside in the freezing cold, making a phone call... truly a 'ring of ice'. Handy!
Go on, go on, Dare Me. Is that what the Pointer Sisters were trying to say on the original front cover artwork for their single? Maybe it is, but what they were being dared to do is not clear, other than perhaps look a little scary. On the remix we find a babe who has clearly been dared, on this occasion to flash her bosoms whilst standing in front of some kind of artificial waterfall. How daring of her. Gambler!
Just what or who is Shakin' Stevens looking at on the original single front cover artwork of You Drive Me Crazy? Something must be bringing him mayhem, but other than a slight squint to his look, we don't know what it can be. On the remix we find what it might have been: a babe, driving his car, in nothing but her g-string. That would be enough to drive him crazy in more way than one. Freeway!
You've got to be Cruel To Be Kind, according to Nick Lowe. So here we go, being kind about the original single front cover artwork: Other than showing Mr Lowe holding his head in pain, there's nothing cruel or kind about it. It stinks! On the remix we find a babe who has been shackled to a metal fence and left out in the elements. That's very kind of someone to be so cruel don't you think? Tautology.
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I've got love in my tummy. Do rhymes come any more farcical than that? Not if you're Ohio Express. How do they choose to illustrate this yumminess on the original single front cover artwork? The simple answer is that they don't. They just have the name of the band and the title of the song repeated three times in yellow, red and pink. On the remix are three beach babes, wearing yellow, red and pink bikinis. Oops, the babe in the red bikini has lost hers. Yummy!
Single Covers, Singles Of The 1990s, Special Remixes, Remi-XXX-es, High Heels, Outdoors, Not Safe For WorkEcho And The Bunnymen are singing about oxidized metal on their single Rust, but the cover of the single shows no evidence of any metal, let alone any which is rotting away. Instead we find the lead singer in a sad pose. On the much more happy remix, we find a smiling babe who is squatting on some rusty metal. She had better be careful not to cut herself on any sharp edges, especially as she has chosen to bend down on the aforementioned rusty metal in nothing but her stripper heels. Squat!
So, what have we here? Tina Turner and Rod Stewart no less. And what is it that Ms Turner and Mr Stewart are telling us? Why, It Takes Two, no less, no more. It is nice of them to give us this advice but the bigger question is what it is that it is that takes two. The remix offers us one possible suggestion as there is a babe who is holding not one, but two in her hands. Can she take them? That is a question best left in private. Cock!