What's Your Sign, asks Des'ree. Is it Scorpio? Actually, it isn't. We prefer a different kind of sign, more specifically a street sign. And we aren't alone in our preferences as on the remixed single cover we find a babe showing us her favorite street sign, the 'turn left' sign. Why she is naked whilst pointing this out is uncertain, but that's the sign of a good remix, right there. Unknown!
If you are going to issue a Red Alert, which is what Basement Jaxx have done, you need to be very clear on the reason. You can't just go around issuing such high level warnings without some purpose. On the original cover artwork for the single, it is definitely not clear what the point of the alarm is. On the remix we find that there is some need for caution as there is a frightening looking babe wearing lots of red who seems intent on causing a disturbance. Klaxon!
Gimme dat, gimme dat, Gimme Dat Banana, sings the jungle-worthy Black Gorilla. Actually, we give the band the thumbs up for the original cover which shows a black gorilla swiping a banana from a cheeky monkey. The remix takes a slightly different tack as one babe asks the other to give her a banana but her friend (we assume they are known to each other), gives it her in a way she was perhaps not expecting, but then again she doesn't seem to unhappy with where it has been given to her. Musa!
Would you believe it, there is another song called Some Girls, this one by self-proclaimed Ultimate Kaos. The cover of their single, however, fails in exactly the same way that yesterday's remix by Racey does - there are no girls on the cover. The remix once again comes to the rescue as we find the band members replaced by some girls. Though the girls may not, ultimately, be kaotic (is that a word?), that should not detract from their suitability to be just some girls. Chaos!
Oh dear. Where do we begin with the cover artwork for Some Girls by Racey? It is another of those 'let's showcase the good looking band members' types of cover (we really should coin a term for such covers) and is lacking in two very important respects:
- It's not in any way racey. And,
- There isn't even one girl, let alone some girls on the cover.
Linda Lewis tells us that Class/Style (I've Got It). Probably, for the 1980s, her denim jacket and pearl necklace and earrings were the height of style and class, but we aren't so sure. On the remix we find a babe in a hat, lacy panties and high heels which we think looks far more classy and stylish, in a minimalist kind of way. Even if it's not class or style, she's certainly got it! Ravishing!
Another remix for Philly soulsters Boyz II Men. So what do the 'boyz' tell us we will find at the End Of The Road? According to their original cover artwork, it will be themselves. OK, for some that may be enough. On the remix, though, we find a babe wearing lots of fishnet and not in the most fetching way. Certainly if you were going along this road, this is where you would most likely stop and turn around. Final!
October may be upon us but that doesn't mean grey days and rainy afternoons all the time, there is still room for the odd Sunny Afternoon and so what better time to remix this cover from The Kinks. On the original artwork is one of those 'let's show off the band' types but is it sunny, or even in the afternoon? It's very unclear. On the remix we find a variety of babes sunning themselves. How do we know this is in the afternoon? It's clear - the position of the sun in the sky. How could you not know that? Sundial!
Shirley Bassey sings about someone for who the phrase I (Who Have Nothing) is apparently applicable. On the original cover artwork we find Ms Bassey but she seems to have quite a lot - a dress, some jewelry, an expensive hairdo. On the remix we find a babe who also seems to have an expensive hairdo, but who otherwise has nothing, including, it would appear, any bosom to speak of. Flatly!
One thing we can say about the original front cover artwork for the single from Hope Of The States is that it does contain the various colors that the title of their song The Red The White The Black The Blue sings about, but in a confused American/British flag fusion kind of way. On the remix we find four babes, each wearing a pair of panties in the appropriate color scheme. The chances of such a random color line-up suggests the band may have even seen this picture before they named their single. Deja Vu!