Under instruction from Odyssey, we are told to Hang Together. If that just means hanging out together, then the original single cover artwork does the job of showing us the band members hanging about. On the remix four babes have decided that they will hang together, but in this case, for some unexplained reason, they are hanging upside down. In the process, their bikini tops appear to have fallen off. Maybe they didn't tie them well enough. Knotty!
Whatever else you might decide to do, Don't Walk Away. That is the message that Jade are trying to pass across by standing looking fierce on the original cover artwork of their single. On the remix a babe is walking away, but she probably shouldn't as she has forgotten her top and appears to have heels so high that she could trip on that damaged concrete road she is traversing. Danger!
We think we know where Candyman was going with his song Knockin' Boots. At least according to the original single front cover, the kind of boots he had in mind are quite clear. Thigh-high, PVC with a stiletto heel. The remix does little other than to zoom out from the original artwork to see what else the babe in the boots is wearing, and would you know it, the answer is nothing at all. Just the Knockin' Boots. Now it becomes clear how they got their title. Bang!
The Crack are, apparently, In Search Of The Crack. Finding themselves is it now then? Well anyway, the original album cover artwork shows a drawing of the band members standing by the doorway of a place called the Ill Eagle, in which a showgirl is standing. Is that the crack that they are seeking? On the remix, two babes are searching for each other's cracks, though given how much fuzz is covering up their cracks, they may have a bit of a job on their (or in their) hands. Craic!
Oh, now, come on. Surely Dethkorpz could have really gone to town with the original album cover artwork for Metal Tit. The freakin' album is called Metal Tit, for tit's sake. Instead they show a 7-year old's drawing of a tank with bowling balls for wheels. On the remix there is a babe who is showing us how she squeezes her tit and is wearing a metal bikini. It's not perfect but it's a hell of a lot closer than the original offering and at least has some metal close to a tit. Tank!
So the original cover artwork for Stilettos by Oli Outside Featuring Jackie Platinum does, indeed, show what appears to be a babe in a long coat wearing boots with stiletto heels, so in that sense the title of the song has been illustrated. But the picture is rather blurred, almost drunken in its outlook. On the remix are two babes, both wearing naught but their stilettos, one pink, one purple (the stilettos that is, not the babes). Less fuzz, more clarity. Paint!
Interesting, in an uninteresting kind of way, isn't it? When Steve Allen Presents Sandy Warner, and calls the album Fair And Warner, what wasn't it thinking about, about thinking fairly about the word fair. Is 'fair', as the original album front cover artwork suggests, just a babe in high heels on a chair? Is the remix any fairer, given there is still a babe, a chair, and some high heels, but now she is outdoors, and other than her espadrilles, she is fairly nude. The fairer sex maybe? Erk!
Where do we begin when starting with the original album cover for Let Me Touch Him by The Ministers Quartet? On the positive side, there are four band members so that makes them a quartet. And it's possible that they are ministers, but other than their boring choice of attire, that's not obvious. But who are they wanting to touch? On the remix we find four mature babes (so a quartet) who all seem to be jostling to touch the guy in the photo. Two of them have him in their hands and two don't, at least not when the photo was taken. Will he touch them, that is a good question. Would you?
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It would be very easy to have replaced the original front cover artwork for Organ Fascination by Dave Stephens with a picture of a babe who was fascinated by a particular male organ. However, we decided not to go in that particular direction and instead the remix shows a babe who likes to play on her organ, her electric organ that is. Perhaps this is still not clear, just take a look and everything will become apparent. Fascinating!
It's good that Jaheim has organized things so that if there is a problem he will be there Just In Case. There is is on the original single front cover artwork with his bandana and silver chain. Do you feel comforted by this? Or would you prefer to be with the babes on the remix who are carrying what looks like a case of beer. What is just in the case might be beer, what is just outside the case are two naked babes on a sunny beach. You can choose.