They're Justified And Ancient, and they drive an ice-cream van. That is what Tammy Wynette sings on this weird old song from the 90s by The KLF. The original cover artwork for the single illustrates the ice-cream van, but where is the justification and the ancientness? They are on the remix, where we find a babe who is verging on ancient but whose steaming hot body is totally justified and probably needs an ice-cream to cool off. Viewers!
Album Covers, Albums Of The 1960s, Single Covers, Singles Of The 1960s, Fantasy & Cosplay, Not Safe For WorkTaken from the album of the same name, today's remix is Eight Miles High by The Byrds. The original front cover artwork shows the band members loafing around on an old, vintage car. It seems very unlikely that they are even one mile high, let alone eight, unless it is a rocket car. On the remix is a babe in a space mask, holding a pipe (an air supply perhaps) floating around in space. She seems to be near the moon, which would make her far more than eight miles high and, her space suit seems woefully inadequate for the job. Loss!
To the ladies, the picture of Errol Brown, the lead singer of Hot Chocolate might represent a sexy thing with his bald head and melancholy smile. For the boys, though, the idea of a Hot Chocolate Sexy Thing is probably more like the picture on the remixed cover of the single, a hot, chocolate, sexy thing. Either that, or a glass of hot milk and cocoa and an early night. We prefer to think of an early night with the hot chocolate shown in the remix!
Honey bring it close... bring it close to my lips, yeah! At least that is what Tori Amos told us in her 1996 dance-floor filler Professional Widow. But what does a professional widow look like? She would have to wear black and appear very meek but clearly look as if she could tear up any wills that weren't written in her favor. Does our remix do the job? We think it does!
It seems that it's not only Mr Forrest who has a problem understanding what it takes to Rock The Boat. The original version by the Hues Corporation has an equally uninspiring cover showing the three members of the band. Although this is a good start, it is a poor end and what is really needed is a couple of hot chicks steering the boat. And guess what? That is exactly what the remixed cover shows. Our love is like a ship on the ocean!
In 1982 Forrest told us to Rock The Boat. But the cover of Mr Forrest's single would not rock anyone's boat, that is unless they happened to like beardy guys wearing dinner shirts and a false smile. What would rock the boat would be a couple of hot chicks steering it wearing much less, which is exactly what the remixed cover shows. Don't tip the boat baby!
Staying with the pictures of babes, in bikinis, on a beach we have remixed this rather obscure hit by reggae outfit Aswad. The cover for Don't Turn Around originally contained a picture of the band but in the remix it is a sexy babe on a beach in a bikini that you can see. What has this got to do with not turning around? Quite simple: she has a nice ass and set against the setting sun even if she did turn around it would probably not improve the vista.
Album Covers, Albums Of The 1980s, Single Covers, Singles Of The 1980s, Special Remixes, Summer Sizzlers, Outdoors, Safe For WorkYes, a return to bikini clad babes and summer songs is necessary. This single (and album of the same name) by Chris Rea does just that taking us On The Beach. But on Mr Rea's beach there is naught but an umbrella. On the remixed cover the beach is still relatively empty but there is now a cute young thing with no bikini top looking rather coy. You can see why - with only a small puff of wind she would be topless.
What a fussy lot you are sometimes? Not only does Maark from South Africa complain that summer songs in August are not right if you live south of the Equator, but now Jessie Hendricks from Charleston SC says that where he lives, the defining feature of the summer months is that there's a constant mist. So just for Jessie, here's a remix of the 1973 Deep Purple song Smoke On The Water. Now can we please get back to babes on beaches in bikinis?