Brownsville Station don't tell us anything of value with the picture on the cover of their single Smokin' In The Boy's Room (which, we note from a pedantic perspective, with the apostrophe so positioned refers to a room that belongs to just one boy - had it been a room belonging to multiple boys, the apostrophe should have been at the end of the word, e.g. Boys'). Anyhow in the remix we find out who it was that was doing the smoking in the room belonging to one boy: it was a babe, and a topless one at that (no surprises there then). Exhale!
Hello This Is Joanie (subtitled The Telephone Answering Machine Song) deserves to get Paul Evans a vote for one of the most tantalizingly dull single covers ever. Instead of showing us who Joanie is, he insists on just showing us the other end of the phone line. We, however, have managed to find a picture of Joanie making the call, and wouldn't you know it, she's a hot babe standing around naked in a phone box. Now it becomes clear why he is so intent on leaving a message on her voicemail. Hello indeed!
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Will you look at that now? Goldie are telling us that they are Making Up Again. Does that mean that they have fallen out with each other? If their sullen faces on the original single cover artwork are anything to go by, that may well be the truth. On the remix we find a babe who is having her make-up done again, or at least touched up. Oddly both her and the girl applying the make-up are topless. Maybe the shipment of fashion from Milan is running late. Cambio!
Nothing says 'party' better than Ladies Night by Kool And The Gang. But what kind of party is it? The original single cover artwork suggests that the party consists of three girls wearing catsuits standing around on some stairs pouting. The remix shows a similar party scene but now four girls are standing around pouting wearing fur and high heel boots. Which party would you intend to attend? Strictly speaking, we'd go to whichever one was playing the best music. As if!
We think, although it's not totally clear from the original single cover artwork, that when The Rolling Stones sing Miss You, they may have accidentally been late for some appointment or other, as Mr Jagger, the lead singer, is holding his hand to his head as if he forgot and is now angry with himself. On the remix we find a babe who is yet to fire her arrow, but in a way we hope that she does miss you, otherwise you will have a sharp feeling of pain as it passes through your heart. Fire!
We can vaguely forgive Eric Clapton for putting himself as the mean feature of the original single cover artwork for Swing Low Sweet Chariot, because we don't think that the alternative would have necessarily been acceptable in the 70s. Let us discover why... On the remix we find Chariot (that is her name you see) and her enormous bosom is swinging very low, due to the fact that there is nothing supporting it. Is she sweet? Like honey from a bee. Dangle!
That old reggae classic, You Can Get It If You Really Want, is the subject of today's AllBum.Art remix. On the original single cover artwork we tried our hardest to understand what you could get if you really wanted. Presumably something that you might not want, but only if you really want. Maybe that's the cigarette being smoked by Mr Cliff. On the remix we find a mature babe who is offering everything she has, but do you really want that? Really?
Although the original single cover artwork for Stand By Your Man shows Tammy Wynette in what is presumably a standing position, it shows no signs of the man of whom she sings as being next to her when she is standing. On the remix we find a babe standing close to her man. Not strictly by him in the closest sense of the word, but not far away either. Why she is naked and he is clothed is unknown, but we bet he's pleased that she chooses to stand by him in that way. Neighbor!
Album Covers, Albums Of The 1970s, Single Covers, Singles Of The 1970s, Busty, Hairy, Mature, Ugly, Not Safe For WorkWhat is Matumbi's Point Of View? A red jacket, yellow tie and black shirt on a hanger in front of a green curtain, that's what. Yes, some very obscure metaphorical analogies going on here because we assume that they have taken the point of view of someone who has no idea about how to produce covers for music. Then again, the remixed point of view may not be to everyone's taste, in fact it might be to very few people's taste unless those people happen to like looking up at hairy old women. Vertigo!
Dean Friedman (pronounced 'freed-man' and not 'fried-man' as it would otherwise appear) sings to us about Lucky Stars. But on the cover of his single he looks anything other than lucky, in fact he seems gaunt and dreary, which kind of reflects his music. Anyhow, we thought the cover could do with a spruce up and a remix and on it we see some very lucky stars. So lucky in fact that we could imagine many a man trading places with them for no financial recompense at all. Gratis!