Look Away, go on, avert your eyes. Turn the other cheek. Divert your gaze. That is what Big Country would have us do but then again, the original cover of their single is so uninspiring that looking at something else is definitely a better option. On the remix we find a babe strolling along a harbor front wearing nothing at all. Though it is common decency to look away, the guys passing her as she walks seem to have failed to do so. So it's up to you - stop looking. See, difficult isn't it? Leer!
Hello This Is Joanie (subtitled The Telephone Answering Machine Song) deserves to get Paul Evans a vote for one of the most tantalizingly dull single covers ever. Instead of showing us who Joanie is, he insists on just showing us the other end of the phone line. We, however, have managed to find a picture of Joanie making the call, and wouldn't you know it, she's a hot babe standing around naked in a phone box. Now it becomes clear why he is so intent on leaving a message on her voicemail. Hello indeed!
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What does Love Like A Fountain look like? Well (well - get it?), according to Ian Brown, it looks like a very badly scrawled picture of his face. Then again, some may argue that the aesthetics of such a picture are counter-pointed by the underlying juxtaposition of the colors and the brush-strokes. But they would be talking shit. The remix shows what love like a fountain looks like, or at least what love near a fountain might look like. It looks like a fountain, with two lovely babes. Squirt!
Another in our occasional series of XXX-rated remixes that we like to call 'remi-XXX-es'. Today it is the turn of R&B singer Brandy and her album Full Moon. On the original cover we find a picture of the singer, and of the moon, so a reasonably good score for artistic interpretation. On the remix we find three babes, lit only by moonlight, who are mooning, but instead of just showing their asses, they are conducting a 'full moon' - a full frontal version of the more traditional 'half moon' where only the buttocks are exposed. These three babes are very exposed. Lunar!
A1 are Caught In The Middle, or so they say. But on the cover of their single, it seems that it is some kind of black pole that is caught in the middle of the band, and not the band members that are caught up. On the remix we find a guy who is definitely caught in the middle... of two buxom babes who seem intent on boxing his ears. Boxing, buxom, big-boned babes no less. How he has gotten himself into such a situation or why are not clear, but we wish him well in his endeavors, whatever appertains. Beat!
We have no idea what Maria Willson is singing about in her single Chooza Looza. Is it, on the one hand, shorthand for 'choose a loser' meaning that someone has been given a choice but whichever choice they take, will mean they end up with a loser. Or does it mean 'chooser, loser', meaning that it is the person that is doing the choosing that is the loser, rather than the options from which they have to choose. We are very confused and to be fair, the remix doesn't help much, as the guy lying down looks like a bit of a loser, and we're not sure the two babes he has to choose from are winners either. Loss!
It would seem, from the original cover artwork of Take It To The Top by Kool And The Gang, that what has been taken to the top, is not the band, but the camera that has taken the picture of the band. We know this because of the odd perspective of the photo. In the remix we see a babe who has been instructed to take something to the top of a ladder, and the thing that she has been instructed to take seems to be her panties. Or maybe, she is waving them in front of the band, so that they smile for their photograph. Elevate!
What better way to start July than with a song about Sunshine, and so we find ourselves remixing a song with just that name by Gabrielle. We struggled with the original cover, to decide whether the odd lighting conditions were caused by sunshine, or whether they were a symptom of a badly set-up camera. The remix does away with all of these questions by showing a hot babe, sizzling in the sunshine. Now why couldn't they have done that in the first place? Initial!