Let's join Marillion for a Garden Party. All you need to join is a jester's hat, a cucumber, a knife and a cigarillo. Doesn't look like the most enjoyable garden party ever. On the remix we find a babe with some fresh bread and a bottle of wine and some fruit, in a sunny field. Now that's the kind of garden party that we would like to join. The fact that she is in the nude does nothing to spoil the situation. Better be careful with that bottle opener. Basket!
Murder In High Heels is what Kiss are singing about. And to illustrate what this looks like, we find the band members pulling silly faces on the original single cover artwork. But this is no laughing matter. On the remix is a babe wearing high heeled boots, and who appears to have been doing gun practice, though her protective clothing seems to be wholly inadequate for playing around with guns. She looks the type that could commit murder in high heels though, so beware. Cartons!
Yes. There is nothing that says Fly High Michelle more accurately than the original single front cover artwork which just shows the band members of Enuff Z'nuff in their full, camp, 80s glory. Except, perhaps, the remix which shows a babe (whose name, for the sake of argument, we shall assume is Michelle), sitting at the door of a helicopter which will no doubt take her flying high. She might want to get some more protective clothing though, or, in fact, any clothing at all. Rotor!
Let's just cut straight to the chase for once, the original single front cover artwork for Watching You by Rogue Traders does not really have anyone to watch, or being watched. That is why the remix changes this as we can see both the watched and the watcher. The watched is a babe posing in nothing but her high heel slingback shoes. The watcher is standing behind her carrying a red rucksack. We're glad that is all sorted out. Spy!
The Sun And The Rain. There is an obvious picture that should go with this but somehow Madness failed to notice it, and the original single cover artwork shows neither the sun, nor the rain, just some hastily painted clouds. The remix of the cover has been enhanced with a babe holding an umbrella which, being fair, doesn't show sun or rain either, but it certainly cheers things up so that the weather is somehow far less important. Protection!
David Cassidy takes us to the star with his album The Higher They Climb (The Harder They Fall). On the original album artwork he illustrates this by being a giant, reaching for a star, standing on top of a group of people. The remix is much easier to understand as a naked babe wearing just her high heels is attempting to climb up some stairs, the hard way (i.e. not using the stairs themselves). She better be careful not to fall into that river behind her. Rail!
As much of a self publicist as David Hasselhoff is, we can't help but think that he would be cool with the remix of the cover of his 2006 single Jump In My Car. Yes, he is famous for jumping into a car (the camp Kitt) but is probably equally famous for his lethariosity (is that a word?) So having two busty topless chicks fill his tank and then jump into his car would almost certainly go down well with the self styled Hoff. What else might go down is, as many advertisements say, what ever occurs between consenting adults. Bang!
There aren't that many singles which are officially labelled as a duet, but this one from the late, great Michael Jackson And Akon falls into that category. Called Hold My Hand, it shows two people holding hands - see what they did there? All that the remix has done is to zoom out a little to see who it is that is doing the hand holding. And wouldn't you know, it appears to be two naked chicks (though the lighting is poor so you have to look hard to spot this).
Two things are true to say. Firstly, most of the covers from Nicki Minaj's singles require no remixing, being about as out-there as anyone else. Secondly, the only reason that the cover of Girls Fall Like Dominoes has been remixed is because in the AllBum.Art office, we stumbled across a picture of an even more scantily clad girl in the same pose and wearing the same colors. Hence the remix was born, though to be fair this is probably one case where the original is better. Still, nice to see a sexy milf in a pink fishnet stockings now and again.