Beautiful Monster - Ne-Yo 
Monday, 15 July, 2013, 05:09 - Singles Of The 2010s
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ne yo beautiful monster 2ne yo beautiful monster 1The only thing that can be deduced from the cover of Ne-Yo's 2010 single Beautiful Monster is that Mr Smith (a.k.a. Ne-Yo) believes that it is more important to see his pouting face on the cover of the single than a close up of the monster about which he is singing. Thankfully, we have managed to get hold of a close-up of the particular monster about who Mr Smith is singing and remixed the cover for you. Unfortunately we have had to lose the image of Mr Smith himself, but this is an acceptable collateral loss.
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Grenade - Bruno Mars 
Sunday, 14 July, 2013, 05:04 - Singles Of The 2010s
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bruno mars grenade 2bruno mars grenade 1Does the hand-drawn blob on the cover of Bruno Mars's single Grenade look like a grenade to you, or more like a Robin wearing an ear-ring? A very poor attempt at a cover. It's a good job that AllBum.Art is here to remix the cover to bring back some sanity. In it, the ear-ring wearing bird is replaced by a different kind of bird, this time one carrying a grenade launcher. Now that's more like it (whatever 'it' is in this context)!
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Picking Up The Pieces - Paloma Faith 
Tuesday, 18 June, 2013, 05:37 - Singles Of The 2010s
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paloma faith picking up the pieces remixpaloma faith picking up the pieces 1Did Paloma Faith really sing Picking Up The Pieces. If that's the case then D'Oh as a certain yellow bald-headed cartoon character would say. We here at AllBum.Art could have sworn she said Picking Up The Panties. That's why the remix of this 2012 single has had Ms Faith replaced by a girl who has somehow ended up with her panties on the floor and the need to pick them up. It seemed so obvious at the time, now we just look silly.
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Firework - Katy Perry 
Saturday, 4 May, 2013, 05:54 - Singles Of The 2010s
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katy perry firework remixkaty perry firework 1The cover of this 2010 song from Katy Perry is lacking in some very important areas, and by far the greatest is the complete lack of any kind of Firework. How can you have a song called Firework and then not have sight nor sound of a Firework on the cover itself. That needed to be fixed, and fixed is has been. On the remix we see a girl (not Ms Perry in this case) who is being turned into a Firework. Ouch!
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Mr Saxobeat - Alexandra Stan 
Sunday, 17 February, 2013, 05:08 - Singles Of The 2010s, One For The Ladies
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alexandra stan mr saxobeat 1Until Alexandra Stan came on the scene, few people had even heard of Romania, believing it to be one of the old former Soviet states that had now been subsumed back into it's old master. But no. It seems that Romania is nothing like that. Instead it's a land where sexy girls (lots of them) prance around singing pip-pap-pop songs with dodgy English accents. Mr Saxobeat was a chart topping pip-pap-pop song in so many countries around the world that Ms Stan was purported to have been offered the keys to the city of Romania in gratitude for her blatant publicity of the place as a hot bed of, well, hot beds.

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alexandra stan mr saxobeat remixRomania isn't a city you say? What is it then. These European countries are usually so small that they make even Canadian cities look big. But what does that matter. You're not hear for a geography lesson but to pick up some distastefully remixed artwork for your music collection. Ms Stan sings of Mr Saxobeat, a man of some legend whose saxophone, it seems, he plays like the pied piper of Hamlyn (is that in Romania perhaps?) to attract the sexy Romanian girls to his jam sessions. And by saxophone, they really do mean saxophone, not some metaphor for his dick which he swings around looking for it to be blown. And here he is in this remixed cover, Mr Saxobeat himself.

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alexandra stan mrs saxobeat remixNot to be outdone, the girls have their own version of Mr Saxobeat who is identified as Miranda and who likes to call herself Mr for short. So don't be fooled by the fact that the label of this remixed single says Mr Saxobeat, it's just that Miranda Saxobeat was too large to fit into the available space without using one of those squashed up fonts that's largely illegible. Now wouldn't it be great if Ms Mr Saxobeat got together with Mr Mr Saxobeat. If they were to wed, no change of name would be required, though perhaps a change of clothing may be required if they wanted to get dressed in most states of the US. Then again, maybe it's legal to get married naked in Romania. Anyone want to pay it a visit and find out?

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Only Girl (In The World) - Rihanna 
Tuesday, 29 January, 2013, 05:35 - Singles Of The 2010s
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rihanna only girl 1Rihanna is another one who is asking for it. No, not that. But to have her covers remixed. That said, this single from 2010 marked a strong departure from her earlier tracks in that it is less dark and sexualized. Only Girl (In The World) has Ms Fenty singing about how she wants to be made to feel like the only girl in the world. It might not appear it from its upbeat sound, but the song is actually about nuclear holocaust and how, afterwards, only Ms Fenty would survive. This is because of her red hair and her ability to stand in a field full of corn with her red dress being held to cover her boobs instead of actually wearing it.

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rihanna only girl remixIn this remix (which would have contravened the 'tits and bums only' policy if it hadn't been for a careful application of blur) Ms Fenty has been replaced by another redhead, who is also standing in a field. Her replacement looks a lot like 80's pop princess Tiffany. Like Ms Fenty, she has also learnt that by carrying her dress in her hands instead of wearing it, together with having died red hair, the effects of the nuclear weapons are nullified. She is also, the only girl in the world and... oops... there are two of them now. It might be better to change the title to Only Girls (In The World) but that would defeat the nuclear resistant message of the song. Maybe Tiffany's song I Think We're Alone Now referred directly to this situation.

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Paradise - Coldplay 
Monday, 21 January, 2013, 05:27 - Singles Of The 2010s
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paradise coldplayMore mid-winter mayhem from those British boys Coldplay. This time their single Paradise is the focus of a remixed cover. This is one of those single covers that deserves to be remixed. It shows what exactly? Well, the words 'Coldplay' and 'Paradise' of course, but the rest of it is just some arty-farty nonsense that clearly means something to someone somewhere but doesn't do anything to convey coldness, playfulness of anyone's vision of what paradise might be like. Unless your idea of paradise is abstract blue-colored artwork. That being said, it is a great song though.

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paradise coldplay 2In the tradition of remixing the cover, the cold playfulness is now bare for all to see in the form of a naked lady who seems very happy to be sprawled, in the nude, in the snow. The lady in question is a picture of paradise itself, well at least she's more like most men's idea of paradise than the blue splodges on the original cover. The question is this: if you look closely (surely you need no encouragement to do this), the snow that is strategically placed to cover her more personal bits looks fake. Whether anything else is fake is less certain but on very close inspection (go on, take a really close look) it may be that she is not in real snow at all and may not be playing in the cold. Does this make her any less of an angel of paradise?

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Set Fire To The Rain - Adele 
Wednesday, 16 January, 2013, 05:47 - Singles Of The 2010s
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adele set fire to the rain 1Buxom British babe Adele's 2011 song Set Fire To The Rain is something of an enigma. The cover for the single shows Adele but gives no indicate of how the act of setting fire to rain is to be carried out. When it comes to setting fire to rain, then this is a bit of a thorny problem. On Earth at least, the fact that rain is made of water tends to rule out any flammability. So it must be that the rain in question would be on another planet where the atmosphere is made of volatile hydrocarbons such that the rain can be ignited. This would also require the air to have some oxygen content and, if not handled carefully, could result in the complete planet being burned to a crisp. It seems unlikely then, that Ms Adkins is singing about setting fire to rain in a literal sense, but more in a metaphoric one.

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adele set fire to the rain 2How, then, does one set fire to rain metaphorically. One option might be to shine orange light into the rain and make each droplet appear to be on fire, though the fact that when it hit the floor, it would extinguish any existing fires would make this rather pointless in many ways. The option that makes most sense from a 'cover of a single' perspective, is that setting fire relates more to making the rain appear hot, and by appear, this is not raising its temperature, but adding something that is aesthetically 'hot', and by aesthetically hot, this does not mean just the color orange. What could possibly be hotter than a naked girl, except perhaps two naked girls. The revised cover features just this juxtaposition - a naked girl in some rain - who is metaphorically setting fire to the rain by being a hottie. Whether this is what is meant by Ms Adkins is not certain but it is sufficient, aesthetically speaking, to decode the enigma hidden in the song's lyrics.

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Pink Christmas - Moneyshot Cosmonauts 
Monday, 24 December, 2012, 12:36 - Singles Of The 2010s, Christmas Crackers
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moneyshot cosmonauts pink christmas 1What the F...? Who or what are the Moneyshot Cosmonauts? And anyhow, shouldn't out and out commie barstewards be locked up in a Guantanamo prison and never let out? That's not a very christian approach to love and peace is it? If you don't know who the Moneyshot Cosmonauts are, use your noggin and Google or Bing or Bong them or whatever it takes. What you will find is their cover of the Pink song So What, with Christmassy lyrics that they call Pink Christmas. The artwork for this song though has two main flaws: (1) It's not Christmassy and (2) It's not pink. Of course, that can be rectified...

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moneyshot cosmonauts pink christmas 2So now we have a nice combination of pinkness and Christmassiness and artwork sanity has been restored to full festive force. But compared to the likes of Bing Crosby, why has this very obscure song been singled our for such important treatment. Isn't it blatantly obvious? What else could be done with this picture of the naked lady in pink gloves and a white fur scarf? There are very few songs that involve both pinkness and Christmassiness that could serve as a platform for the revelation of this pretty pink perky person. That, and the Christmas beer talking.

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Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepson 
Saturday, 8 December, 2012, 12:58 - Singles Of The 2010s
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call me maybe carly rae j 1Was this the best (selling) song of 2012? Was this the most popular song of 2012? Who knows? Someone does! Carly Rae Jepson's epic pop song Call Me Maybe was certainly heard on every radio station across the country, even those who only play country, such was it's popularity. The cover sees Ms Jepson squatting down in a pair of shorts and tan colored high heel shoes. She also wears this outfit in the video which is a cutesy story of how she is keen for some guy to call her and tries to give him her number, only to discover that he is gay and that he is more interested in the band's drummer than in her. Maybe she didn't try hard enough with her outfit and had she worn something a little sexier, she might have secured the affections of the male.

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call me maybe carly rae j 2Clearly the lady on the revised cover of Call Me Maybe is not Ms Jepson, and nor does she have the same kind of cutesy teenager-in-love look. What she does appear to have are some rather large and fulsome boobs which are only covered by the cord of the telephone handset. In fact the whole of her seems to only have the twirly cord for cover. That and a strategically placed hand and the rather retro looking telephone itself. Now this is much more like the kind of outfit to wear if you are going to tempt some hopelessly bisexual guy to put down the drummer and make a beeline for you. Don't you think?

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