Where do we begin to describe what is wrong with the original single front cover artwork for Driver's Seat by Sniff 'N' The Tears? There is no seat at all, let alone one which a driver might use. Instead there is a babe in high heels who appears to have shot a man dead with a gun, whilst an angry cat watches. Maybe she will shoot the cat next. On the remix there is simply a babe, climbing into the driver's seat of a car. See how easy this remix stuff is? Stick-shift!
Is he telling the truth when Johan Jones says to the world the I Dig Chicks? If we examine the original single front cover artwork then perhaps we might agree with him, as it shows four chicks of Mr Jones's era being hoisted into the air by a digger. On the remix, little has really changed other than that the babes have been updated and the digger has been replaced by a monster truck. The babes are all wearing cowboy boots which is odd attire for a jazz record, but who are we to argue. Hard hat!
Isn't it obvious that for a single whose title is Breakout, the front artwork of the single should show someone trying to breakout of something or somewhere? Not to Swing Out Sister, who decided that the original cover should show the lead singer winking. Yes, that was winking. On the remix is a babe who is trying to breakout of a prison cell. She has a couple of problems to contend with. Firstly the bars of the cell. And secondly the dog collar around her neck which is chained to the cell wall. Escape!
Whilst we are in a mood for remixes of songs by The Beautiful South, here is You Keep It All In. In a way, the artwork on the original single cover does indicate one way of keeping it all in, which is to put a tree-lined fence around a field. That would certainly keep large animals in. On the remix is a different way of keeping it all in, which is to use a bikini to hold in a wholesome bust. Actually, the bust is so wholesome that the bikini isn't doing that great a job of keeping it in. Maybe the trees would have been better. Droop!
It's as Good As Gold, the original front cover artwork for this single by The Beautiful South, that is. And by good as gold, what they seem to mean is a man in a blue suit and black hat standing in a heart shape with hundreds of mini Jesus's filling the heart. On the remix, good as gold has been represented by a good looking babe who is not just wearing gold shoes, but has painted her whole body gold as well. We can tell it is her whole body as she isn't wearing any gold clothes to cover it. Sliver!
A similar picture and theme as yesterday's remix. The original single front cover artwork for Breaking Ties by Above And Beyond Presents Oceanlab desperately needs remixing as all it shows is the name of the artist and the title of the song. The remix shows a babe who has ties on the back of her high heel shoes, and they may have been broken as she seems to be tying them back together again, but that is a different song. Hopefully when she has fixed her broken ties, she will be able to go walking away, but that is yet another different song. Sink!
What does Footloose mean? Let's ask Kenny Loggins. Oh, wait, on the original single front cover artwork there is just a picture of Mr Loggins and an inset of the cover for the movie of the same name. It seems he is too lost in his own ego to answer the question. Let's remix the cover. Now we find that a babe who has been walking in very high heels has decided to take one off. Or maybe the shoe was loose. Or her foot was loose. Do you see how that works? Arch!
Say, Has Anybody Seen My Sweet Gypsy Rose, go on, say it, that is what Dawn Featuring Tony Orlando are instructing you to do. Go on, say it. Did that make you feel better? Maybe it made you realize that the original single front cover artwork doesn't answer that question. The remix does, though, offer an answer to the question, showing a busty babe who is sitting among some rose petals and who has a slightly gypsy look about her. Has anyone seen her? Sweet!
Nothing says Be My Downfall better than a couple of old bicycles leaning against the front window of a cafe where the band members of Del Amitri are staring out looking beyond bored. Nothing, that is, other than a hot babe sitting down in heels so high she probably couldn't stand up if she tried. Actually, that is less of a downfall and more of a fall down. Can she get back up again? It's probably not worth it if all she has to look forward to is a load of bored looking has-beens. Spike!
According to The Dooleys, A Rose Has To Die. Unfortunately, the original single front cover artwork gives no indication of how the rose should die as it only shows the gormless looking band members. Will the rose be poisoned? Will it be pulled out of the ground? Will it be left with no water? Just how will the blessed rose die? The answer is found on the remix, and oddly the reason the rose will die is because it will be eaten by a topless babe. Bet you didn't see that one coming? Rosado!