Two things that you might expect to find on the original single front cover artwork of Body Rock by Maria Vidal would be some kind of rock, and some shape of body. Instead there is a fluffy haired picture of the singer. On the remix is a babe whose body is revealed through her see-through dresses. She is also standing in front of some rocks. Her body rocks, and also you can see a body and some rock, so the song title is now safely and completely illustrated. Igneous!
How many times has someone begun a story with the phrase To Cut A Long Story Short, and then gone on to talk for hours giving every last detail of some really boring tale? Well it seems as if Spandau Ballet were so bored that for the original single front cover artwork that all they put on it, other than a fancy border, was the name of the band and the title of the song. On the remix we have a babe who has cut her t-shirt a little short. There is a long story about why she did this but to cut a long story short, she got bored with a pair of scissors. Chop!
It's Sinful! What is? The original front cover artwork for this single by Pete Wylie. All it shows is a pair of eyes looking at something. Of course if the eyes were staring at something they shouldn't be, that might be sinful, but there is no evidence of this. On the remix is a babe who is sitting in the pew at a church wearing nothing other than tartan underwear and high heels which is not what most people would consider to be a suitable outfit for a Sunday. This seems to us to be particularly sinful, if not totally sacrilegious. Iniquitous!
Another remix for Teena Marie and this time she is telling us that I Need Your Lovin' (which we translate as meaning that she needs our lovin'). To give credit where it's due, Ms Marie does look a little needy on the original single front cover artwork. On the remix, the level of neediness has been wound up a notch, as the babe shown standing by a window (and a radiator) looks as if she was ready for lovin' but has been let down and is wondering when her lover will arrive. Better luck next time, eh? No-show!
Album Covers, Albums Of The 1980s, Single Covers, Singles Of The 1980s, Outdoors, Public, Safe For WorkTeena Marie tells us that she is Naked To The World. But on the original cover artwork for her album and single of the same name, she is clearly fully clothed, not naked. And where is the world to be found? On the remix is a babe who is naked and what's more, she is standing in front of a large crowd of people who we shall, for the sake of this remix, call the world at large. Unlike the original artist, she is then naked to the world, and sanity has been restored. Pavement!
Here are Peabo Bryson And Roberta Flack and Tonight I (or they) Celebrate My (or their) Love for you (or maybe for each other?) At least on the original single front cover artwork, they do seem to be enjoying each other's company. On the remix we find a bride, dressed in white, who seems to be ready to celebrate her love in the age honored fashion of singing this old 80s song while holding a bunch of flowers. Rose!
Another remix for Michael Jackson, this time for his song Dirty Diana. On the original single front cover artwork all we can see are Mr Jackson's rather flamboyant cowboy boots. What is it that he is looking at? Why, it might be the babe on the remix whose name may or may not be Diana. One thing is for certain, though, being covered in mud, she is most definitely dirty. The fact that she is naked in the mud makes her doubly dirty. Sludge!
Cliff Richard claims to be Wired For Sound. On the original single front cover artwork, he is at least standing in front of a microphone which presumably is wired up to some equipment, though it could be a radio microphone in which case it would be wireless. Then again, it was the 1980s so, yes, it's more likely to be wired. On the remix we find a babe standing on a rooftop wearing headphones that are not wireless, as the wire can clearly be seen casting a shadow on her body. And wouldn't you know it, her wireless bra has fallen off, as have many other of her clothes. Bluetooth!
Albums Of The 1980s, Singles Of The 1980s, Album Covers, Single Covers, Safe For Work, Mature, LingerieStrictly Business is both an album and a single by EPMD. The original cover artwork shows the two band members lazing about in their recording studio. A nice touch is that they are wearing matching black and white sweat-shirts. The remix is much more business-like, as we find a mature babe in the office with sales charts behind her. It looks as if sales are doing badly, so she has resorted to wearing only lingerie as an encouragement to buy whatever it is they are selling. Sold!
I Feel For You by Chaka Khan is both an album and a single. The original front cover artwork provides an 80s stylized drawing of the face and hand of Ms Khan, her hand, in some interpretations, could be feeling her face. On the remix we find someone feeling someone else, or is it the same person feeling themselves? Do they feel for you, or are they feeling for me, or even them? It's not that clear, so perhaps sticking to the original cover picture is less uncertain times. Ice cream!