It's Invisible by Irish boy band D-Side that's being remixed today, and boy does it need it. On the original single cover artwork the band are standing around by a brick wall and the only thing that's vaguely invisible is the writing on the wall. On the remix is a babe who is also leaning against a wall, and although the writing on the wall is still transparent, it would appear that her bra is too. Translucent!
What could illustrate The Cookbook better on the front cover artwork of an album than having Missy Elliott standing in front of an old school microphone in black and white, and with the Betsy Ross flag behind her? Well, how's about an actual cookbook? That is what the remix offers us, a babe wearing a diamond necklace, holding a cookbook and eating string. It's not clear why she would want to do any of these things, let along together. String theory!
What would you know... Today's remix is also for a track titled Larger Than Life, but today it is the turn of the Backstreet Boys. On the original single front cover artwork, we find the band members standing in front of a tree at night. Maybe it is the tree that is larger than life? On the remix we find a babe whose waist is very small, but whose bosom is out of proportion and may well be larger than life. Squeeze!
Do you know what isn't Larger Than Life? The font on the front cover artwork of the album of that name by Jody Watley. For that matter, there is nothing that is excessively big on the original cover. On the remix we find a babe whose bosom is larger than life. Indeed, they appear to be several times larger than her head. It's a wonder she can stand upright. The font is still very small though. Melons!
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, Try Again. At least that is what Aaliyah would have us do. To illustrate this, the original single front cover artwork shows a blurry, monochrome shot of the singer. Definitely worth another attempt! On the remix is a babe trying to catch the attention of a worker by standing on a wooden pallet wearing a PVC bikini and boots. He does not seem interested in her. Try again. Attempting!
Corona make an offer that is too interesting not to contemplate. Try Me Out, they propose. To illustrate what is on offer, the original single front cover artwork shows the lead singer flapping her long hair about in a short dress and high heeled boots as if to say, 'try that out'. On the remix we find a babe who is showing us what there is to try out in a more direct fashion, by flashing her lacy bra at us. Try this out!
Better known for their annoying song about Barbie, Aqua have decided to Turn Back Time. According to the original single front cover artwork, this will be achieved by lounging around on blow-up clocks of some kind. On the remix we find a babe who is wishing she had one of those clocks to turn back time, as for some reason she has found herself standing with just a black hat to cover her naked modesty on a busy street. Cover!
Whichever way you loo at it, Back To Front, or Front To Back, the original cover artwork for this album by Lionel Richie is an affront and at the back. It is useful to contrast this with the remix where two babes have their backs to us, at the front, so to speak, so their backs are to front. It's not a perfect replacement for the sad looking face of Mr Richie, but it is better than his mustache, that's for certain. Fuzz!
It is the first of May, known as Labor Day which is all about work. So it seems appropriate, today of all days, to remix an album about Thirsty Work by Status Quo. On the original front cover artwork you will find a bottle of what looks like fizzy water which oddly is full, yet next to it is a glass which is also full. On the remix is a babe who has been hard at work and is now thirsty and is reaching for a bottle of cold water in a fridge. It is not clear what her like of work is, but it seems to involve wearing nothing other than a pair of orange high heels. Dancing!
Happy Easter! Today it is the turn of the Patti Smith Group and their highly appropriately named album of the 1970s called Easter for the remix treatment. On the original album front artwork we find Ms Smith showing us her underarm hair in a skimpy spaghetti-strap t-shirt. On the remix we find a babe in a very similar pose, with the added factor of her wearing a cross on a necklace which seems far more Eastery. Egg!