The 1970s seem to be the heyday for album covers that were already high on the risqué register. The original cover of How Much, How Much I Love You by Love And Kisses shows a naked babe riding a horse but in an erotic pose, not a lady Godiva pose where her extremities are covered by her long hair. The remix offers nothing new, just an update to this tried and tested formula. Neigh!
Two in a row remixes that have been submitted by a self-proclaimed fan of AllBum.Art, both of them remixes for songs by The Beautiful South. The first is for their single Rotterdam (Or Anywhere). As even the densest geography student knows, Rotterdam is in Holland where, even the densest sociology student knows, almost anything goes! Odd then that the original cover shows three landmarks, only one of which could directly be connected to Holland - a bicycle. The remix, provided to us by Wilf Hooton of Hull, UK, shows "a naked babe on the streets of a town in Holland". Nice one Wilf. Edam!
City Boy's song, 184.108.40.206., is obviously about making a telephone call. But the cover of their single doesn't even have a phone on it and although the band screech on about '5705 but there's no reply, I keep calling...' they don't provide us with any idea of why they would want to call that number in the first place. Thankfully the remix answers this vexing question as we see that on the other end of the line is a very good reason for calling 5705. Now if only we could find out the area code... Dial!
A remix of a remix, or 'remix squared'. Upside Down by DJ K Gee is a remix of Diana Ross's original version of Upside Down. Exactly what the original cover tells us is very unclear, it's just a 70s inspired jumble of bright colors. The remix is far more topsy turvy and shows a babe who seems to enjoy being upside down. ¿ɹǝɥ ƃuᴉuᴉoɾ ʎɔuɐɟ ǝuoʎu∀ Pronto!
The original cover and title of Upside Down by the A*Teens is odd in two ways:
- It is the right way up.
- There is an inherent grammatical conflict in the use of the word 'a' meaning singular and 'teens' which is plural.
This user submitted entry comes from Dale of Woolloomooloo, Australia. Dale doesn't give us his family name but if it is as long as unpronounceable as the name of the town he lives in, perhaps that's for the better. Dale has sent us a remix of the cover of What About Me, by Moving Pictures. Dale tells us that his inspiration is the picture on his remixed cover in which he says that the look on the girl's face is clearly asking why the photographer is more interested in the pot plant than in her. Good question Dale! Bonzer!
According to the Bee Gees, You Win Again. Or someone wins again. The thing is, the original cover gives no indication of the competition that must be taking place in order that someone can win (again), and someone can lose (maybe for the first time, maybe not - the band are not specific on that point). The remix shows the outcome of the kind of competition that the Bee Gees are no doubt familiar with. But there seem to be three winners, so now we learn that the 'you' in the title of the song is plural. Single!
What is the old maxim... "An opportunity lost will never roll a stone over the cook's broth", or something like that. Either way, Reef missed an enormous opportunity here with their single Naked, in two particular ways. Firstly, the title of the song, naked, which is just asking for a picture of a nude babe. And secondly, if that naked babe was on a reef, or sand bank, or some other coastal feature then it would be even more appropriate. And would you believe it, that's what the remix shows. Pebbles!
Another nautical remix, this time from Ocean Colour Scene who are sailing along in The Riverboat Song. The original cover shows us the band and maybe, just possibly, they used a fish-eye lens to give their slightly squinted perspective. But far better might be a babe on a boat, on a river. And better still if she is a hot babe, who needs to be on the boat to keep cool. Tepid!