What is it that Maxwell is singing about? It seems that even he himself doesn't really know, as it's just Sumthin' Sumthin'. The original single front cover artwork doesn't help much either as all we see is the singer in a bar or some such place. On the remix we find two babes bending over on a bed and showing sumthin' to us. Two sumthin's as it happens. Now if only we could remember the name of what those sumthin's are called. Then again, Maxwell couldn't remember either. Forgetful!
Sometimes it's lovely to be Down By The Water, and so, it seems, does PJ Harvey. It seems that her take on being by the water is to smoke a cigarillo, because that is all which can be seen on the original single front cover artwork. On the remix we find a babe who is not just down by the water, but is already partially in the water. Maybe she is getting down by the water, as her stance is that of a dance. Maybe she is in France (only because it rhymes with dance and stance). Glance!
Just Walk In My Shoes, that is what Gladys Knight And The Pips are asking us to do. To enact this, we would need to know what those shoes look like. However, the original single front cover artwork does not give any indication of this, making following Ms Knight's instructions somewhat difficult. On the remix we find a babe and her shoes and given how high the heels are, it seems that even the babe herself is struggling to walk in them. Crawl?
Is it Kesha or is it Ke$ha that Taio Cruz is featuring on his single Dirty Picture? Either spelling, ka-she appears on the picture on front cover artwork but ke-has not provided evidence of being dirty. On the remix we find a babe taking a selfie, or is that a $elfie? She has obviously been asked to make her picture dirty, as she is showing a little of her boob to the camera. Dirty, possibly, filthy, no. Go H-sake as they call her in Japan!
To some extent, the original single front cover artwork for Sky Pilot by Eric Bourdon And The Animals does show two aircraft in a dogfight, and the pilot of one of them can be seen in his cockpit. On the remix is a more modern day pilot in the form of a babe who is also sitting in the cockpit of a plane. No sniggering now at a rude looking babe in a location with cock in it's title. Time for a pitstop!
Another remix for Michael Jackson, this time for his song Dirty Diana. On the original single front cover artwork all we can see are Mr Jackson's rather flamboyant cowboy boots. What is it that he is looking at? Why, it might be the babe on the remix whose name may or may not be Diana. One thing is for certain, though, being covered in mud, she is most definitely dirty. The fact that she is naked in the mud makes her doubly dirty. Sludge!
Swing low. Swing out. Swing over. And while your at it, Swing My Way. That is the preferred direction of swing for K.P. And Envyi. To help you swing their way, the original single front cover artwork shows the back of two loudspeakers. Yes, that makes sense. On the remix is a babe, swinging, on a swing. Far less sensible? Only because she is doing so while topless. It is to be strongly hoped that she will not fall off as that could be very damaging. Oscillate!
The Dickies bring us the song Banana Splits, sometimes sub-titled 'The Tra La La Song' and known by some as 'One Banana, Two Banana'. The original single front cover artwork shows the title of the song, the name of the band, and a banana. If you look closely, you will see that the title of the song is made from small bananas. On the remix is a babe whose split is (just about) covered with a banana colored bikini. Doesn't that give you the dickies? Canary!
Barbara Stephan brings us her single The River. On the original single front cover artwork we find Ms Stephan looking up at us through a fuzzy piece of glass. There isn't much of a river visible, unless it is a river of fuzziness. On the remix we find a babe who is taking a dip in a river. She seems to have forgotten to wear her swimming costume, bikini, or indeed any clothes at all. Perhaps her brain was overloaded with some kind of water-fuzz, should such a thing exist. Perhaps Ms Stephan could help her. Bank!
Cliff Richard claims to be Wired For Sound. On the original single front cover artwork, he is at least standing in front of a microphone which presumably is wired up to some equipment, though it could be a radio microphone in which case it would be wireless. Then again, it was the 1980s so, yes, it's more likely to be wired. On the remix we find a babe standing on a rooftop wearing headphones that are not wireless, as the wire can clearly be seen casting a shadow on her body. And wouldn't you know it, her wireless bra has fallen off, as have many other of her clothes. Bluetooth!