What is In Your Car? More importantly what is in Kenickie's car? Quite obviously, from the original single cover artwork, what is in Kenickie's car is the band members themselves, though in cartoon format. And the car is toony too. On the remix we find what we would like to find in our car (and maybe you would like to find in your car too), that is a babe wearing nothing other than a smile and her stiletto heels. Drive!
So there are Nine Million Bicycles (in China) according to Katie Melua. However we are meant to infer this by the fact, presumably, that on the original single cover artwork there is a photo of Ms Melua squatting down in an abandoned warehouse. Is the warehouse in China? Maybe. On the first of today's triple-play remix, we find a cute asian babe riding a bicycle. Is this one of the nine million in China? On the second remix we find the same asian babe on the same bike, but this time her clothes appear to have dissolved. Must have been all the pollution in China. Cough!
Walk Through The Fire is what Peter Gabriel tells us to do in his single taken from the film Against All Odds. But on the original cover artwork all we can see is Mr Gabriel smiling. What is he smiling at? Maybe what's making him have such a grin on his face is what is shown on the remix, which is to say a naked babe walking through fire. Maybe it isn't that, but it sure makes for a better cover. Improve!
Does the picture of Lee Ryan on the original front cover single artwork make you think that you need to Turn Your Car Around? Or does it make you think that he could have done a lot better with his cover design? We think the latter, and so the remix provides a proper excuse to reverse the direction of your automobile, that is because some hot stocking-clad babe is telling you to. Whip!
When JX sing that There's Nothing I Won't Do, you would be right to expect more from the original single cover artwork than a fuzzy picture of someone with their mouth wide open. You would expect to see a babe who would do just about anything, in fact a babe who would do absolutely anything. Such as lying down naked on a street as cars drive past her, smiling nonchalantly at the camera. Did we say naked? We meant wearing heels. Obviously!
So Pure. Like snow? Like fragrance-free soap? Like distilled water? No. According to the original single cover artwork, Baby D tells us that what is pure, is a lightning storm. Maybe it is pure, but it is also messy and dangerous. On the remix we find a babe who is, in some ways very pure and in others very impure. Just focus on the pure elements, and this remix makes sense. Focus on the impure and it is about as logical as Doctor McCoy. Trek!
Rafael Nunez has got it half right. On the original cover artwork for his album Watermelon Man, he shows a watermelon, but the person holding it is not a man, but is instead female (at least that is what she appears to be - looks can be deceptive!) On the remix nothing much has changed except that it is now almost beyond doubt that the person holding the watermelon is female. Fruit!
The Mars Volta, the name alone conjures up images of deepest darkest Africa mixed with the fearsome red planet. The Widow conjures up pictures of a lady mourning for her dead husband. The original single cover artwork shows a woman climbing down a tree. The remix brings the picture into slightly clearer focus as we find a widow, possibly from Mars, mourning something or other. Sorrow!
What Katie Melua seems to be telling us on the original cover artwork of her single If You Were A Sailboat is that it is rather misty down at the docks where she is awaiting the arrival of the incoming ships. On the remix we find a different babe awaiting the arrival of incoming ships down in the boatyard, but the fog has lifted and we discover (what a surprise) that she is all but naked, except for the hat she appears to have stolen from a passing sailor. Ahoy!
Ken Dodd attempts to tell us that Love Is Like A Violin by, if the original single cover artwork is to be believed, looking a bit gormless and using his fingers as a mock dicky-bow. The remix tells a different story of a babe playing a violin. A babe who has clearly had some love, probably around 6 or 7 months ago. Maybe her baby will enjoy the violin playing and grow up with a love of it. String!