When we began providing the occasional 'Remi-XXX' (otherwise known as X-rated remixes) it caused a split in opinion among the staff here at AllBum.Art. Some thought it was a step too far; others just live by the ethos of rules are meant to be broken. So when someone suggested that there were quite a few songs with the word 'anal' in them, controversy ensued. Here, therefore, is a highly controversial remix of Assassing by Marillion. Whilst the original cover has no ass in it at all, the remix shows one that is being assassingnated!
At exactly midnight at the end of the day on 31 January, is it January, or is it February? This is a question that it seems Barbara Dickson has puzzled about. So much so that she wrote a song about it, a song called January February. On the original cover we see Ms Dickson looking very confused, and searching for an answer to her puzzle. On the remix we see two babes, who by a complete coincidence, are called January and February and who, by all appearances, like to frolic naked in the snow. Monthly!
She has 5 Colours In Her Hair, at least she does if McFly are to be believed. But other than looking like a load of teenage jerks, the original cover material does not illustrate what this might look like. Is it auburn, blonde, brown, red and grey? Well, not it's not, as we can see in the remix. The five colors in her hair are, in fact, blue, pink, red, yellow and green. Rainbow!
That Don't Impress Me Much, Shania Twain, not I am not impressed at all, never mind much. Why? Because the silly leopard-skin coat that you are wearing is in very bad taste and because hitching a ride wearing it is probably not a route for success. I am, however, impressed much more by the babe on the remix who is wearing a similar leopard-skin coat, but is far more likely to succeed in being picked up. Ride!
You have to be very careful when playing with guns, or at least that's what we think Kelly Willis is trying to get across in her song Bang Bang. It might be better, though, to provide a graphic illustration of just why guns are so dangerous, and the remix of the cover artwork does just this. If the babe in the remix were to fire those guns she's holding, she would surely damage a couple of prime assets. Aim!
We would give Madness only around 5 out of 10 for the cover artwork of their single Wings Of A Dove. Why only 5? Well, for one, the band do not appear (lose 2 points). Second, it's not a real dove (lose 1 point). And thirdly, there's nothing mad about it (lose 2 points). The remix scores 8 out of 10, as there's still no sign of the band members, but there is a mad babe who thinks that lying around topless among some doves is somehow a good idea. Crazy!
You can tell that 911 have been hanging around for quite a long time on the original cover of their song Don't Make Me Wait, by the fact that they look totally bored and have long faces. Maybe if they put their shoes on and stopped messing about with guitars they might seem less tired. On the remix we see a babe who is so keen that you don't wait that she's stripped virtually naked to entice you to get up and get going. It works for us!
As we have said many a time at AllBum.Art, sometimes a remix is inspired by the name of a song, and sometime by a particular picture that we stumble across. In this case it was the picture that spawned the remix. After all, what other song would a babe leaning naked on a lamppost be suited to than Leaning On A Lamppost by George Formby. Actually we had never heard of the song either but the whole thing fitted like a hand in a glove. Smooth!
What is it that Dana Dawson is referring to when she tells us to Show Me? She is clearly wishing us to show her something or other, but it's not clear what. Nor is she showing us anything much. On the remix we find a babe who seems very happy to show us, in this case to show us that she is happy to show her boobs to anyone in the neighborhood who wants to see them, whilst traveling along an escalator. Each to his or her own. Hark!
Now why would Lindisfarne Run For Home? The answer is that they wouldn't, it's their fans who do the running after having put up with several hours of their dreary music. On the original cover we can see the fans being bombarded by their terrible songs at a concert. On the remixed cover we see three girls who are so desperate to get home that they have left the concert at such speed that their clothes have fallen off. This seems to happen a lot, apparently. Dash!