This song by Roy Orbison is less 'Oh, Pretty Woman' and more 'Ah, Pretty Woman' when the enlightenment of the remixed cover exposes the woman of whom Mr Orbison so idly moans. The original lyrics of this song included the line 'take a peek, on my cheek, that's a sneak, or a banzoi tree' but it was felt to be too Japanese at a time when sentiment towards the Japanese was no better than it is today towards Canada for example. Top!
Every songwriter and performer has their weird period. None moreso that Paul Simon. This song, Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes, is taken from his Graceland album which counterpoints the metaphor juxtaposing the urban realism of the sound of contemporary pop music with the dark yet multicolored undertones of the nascent society in sub-Saharan Africa. Or something. Anyhow, the whole thing is three hundred times better when looking at a picture of a babe wearing sparkly high heels. Twice!
And all that I knew was a Hole In My Shoe, that was letting in water (repeat to fade). So now you know everything you ever needed to know about this 1960s song by Traffic. No? Let us help, because the original cover doesn't. The song is about a shoe, that someone is wearing. And there's a hole in it. And this is a problem because... the hole lets water in. Oh, darn it. Let the remix tell the story.
Well it's a one for the money, a two for the show, a three to get ready but hey just a cotton picking minute that's not the Elvis Presley song that's being remixed here. No, this is a remix of Jailhouse Rock, the original cover of which sees Mr Presley rocking nothing in particular. The remix shows two sexy babes who bring a new meaning to jailbirds, one that includes short skirts, stockings and a ball on an ankle chain. Keep it locked!
Ooooh, ooooh, me ears are alight. Ain't that what Desmond Dekker was really singing about in his 1969 classic Israelite? Either way, the original cover gives no answers to this conundrum. And rather than try and fathom the mysteries of the deep, the remix just enhances and modernizes the original. Gone is the bra wearing woman of the 1960s and come is the bra wearing woman of the 2010s. Darlin' cheese-head I was far too greasy. Word.
Today's remix comes from French electro-poppers Daft Punk with their recent hit Get Lucky. The original cover shows what must be the band, playing their instruments, silhouetted against a hot setting sun. What's lucky about that? In the remix we see a fat, ugly lorry driver who somehow has managed to convince a young, sexy girl to get undressed a climb into his cab. Now that's getting lucky. Ooh la la!
Hot Stuff by Donna Summer continues our dancing divas theme but takes us back to the 1970s to the heyday of disco. All we have done to bring this classic up-to-date is change the picture. Instead of the (sadly now deceased) Ms Summer, we see a chick wearing what can only be described as 'horizontal picket fencing for babes' in a very hot situation. We are sure Ms Summer would approve. Sizzle!
Watchin' by Freemasons Featuring Amanda Wilson continues our dance-off. The original cover starts to tell the tale of what or who is being watched, featuring, as it does, a keyhole through which it must be assumed that the watchin' is taking place. The problem is that what is being watched is not clear and so to rectify this omission, we have added a sexy pin-up who is in the process of getting dressed. Or is she getting undressed? It is not clear, which might explain exactly why the watchin' is taking place.
Those dance hits just keep comin' as we burn up the decks with our funky remixes (you're right, we should stick to the cover remixes and leave the DJing to DJs). This is a remix of the 2006 single Incredible by The Shapeshifters. What's incredible about the original cover is it's total lack of increadibility. The remix adds some credibility to the incredulity by means of a sexy babe whose incredible body is ready for cred.