My Boy Lollipop - Millie 
Saturday, 2 February, 2013, 05:08 - Singles Of The 1960s
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millie my boy lollipop 1One of those 1960s songs that seems to have stood the test of time, My Boy Lollipop sees the sickly sweet voice of Millie singing lots of lyrics that revolve around glucose based confectionary. The cover of the single, on the other hand, does not offer us any insight into this world of candy-coated love. Instead we see Millie herself against a blue background. The choice of blue is odd, as it's probably one of the least common colors for candy and being an upbeat, happy-go-pappy kind of song the connection of the color blue with its regular connotation of melancholy does nothing to lift this rather sour, dour cover out of the blues.

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millie my boy lollipop remixIn the remixed cover, many of the problems of the earlier cover have been fixed. There is one minor point, and that is that Millie has been replaced by an alternative lady, but given the alternative lady's state of dress (or undress) it is unlikely that this would cause too many complaints. What is great about the remixed cover is that the new cover-girl is sucking on a lollipop. And not just any lollipop but a bright red one. Maybe strawberry flavored, or raspberry, or cranberry or redcurrent. What the flavor is matters little, but the dash of red inflames the senses and cheers up this otherwise dull blue cover, revealing much more of the sugary, giddy-up nature of the song itself. In fact it's much more revealing in many ways.

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Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benetar 
Friday, 1 February, 2013, 05:09 - Singles Of The 1980s
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pat benetar love is a 1An American classic from Pat Benetar, Love Is A Battlefield is one of those songs that's timeless. Or at least if you use airplay to define what's timeless, then this is on the list as it's still played on the radio like there's no tomorrow. Anyhow, the cover of the single shows Ms Benetar in a rather odd pose. Perhaps this is meant to be her attempt to show what a love-based battlefield looks like. The fact is that you can't see what else is going on either behind, below, or in front of Ms Benetar and it's difficult to imagine what this might be from the scant information provided by the cover. Is she, for example, mid-punch against some floozie that she has taken a dislike to, or maybe she's just been punched herself. The mind boggles. The cover doesn't.

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pat benetar love is a remixSo that there can be no confusion, in the remixed cover, Ms Benetar has been replaced by two floozies who look very much like they are in the mood to battle it out for love. The battlefield in this case is a boxing ring, and the two floozies have their gloves on and are facing off ready for a punch up. In the red corner is a redhead who, for the sake of argument we shall call 'Paula'. In the blue corner we have a blonde who, for the sake of argument we shall call 'Britney'. Let the argument commence, and the battle ensue. The things we do for love! Oh, wait, that's a different song isn't it.

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Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin 
Thursday, 31 January, 2013, 05:57 - Singles Of The 1970s
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led zeppelin whole lotta love 1Na nah na nah nah, doo-doo, doo-doot. Na nah na nah nah, doo-doo, doo-doot. Yes, it's a Whole Lotta Love according to this 1970 single from Led Zeppelin. But oh, what a dismal cover for the single they have. And what on Earth is all this No.1 Super Group nonsense? Talk about talking yourself up. There are many artists who could claim super-group status. Are Led Zeppelin one of them? Well not if the lack of inventiveness in this cover is anything to go by. A picture of the band, and not even a very good picture at that. On a white background. With the whole super-band thing sprawled across the front. And a title in red. Marks out of 10? 1. Perhaps that's what the No.1 refers to in their self proclaimed excellence.

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led zeppelin whole lotta love remixNow this is more like it. There is unquestionably a whole lot of love going on here. Or at least there will be once any passing male gets their hands on one (or more) of these lovely ladies. These girls definitely deserve a super-group badge but are modest enough to cover that up. If you don't like women who are ample in the bosom department, then perhaps they are not your idea of a whole lot of love, but there is no way to deny that there is a whole lot of bosom and that for those who would like to get their hands on them, that would translate into literally tons of love. Literally tons of weight. Literally tons of fun. Na nah na nah nah, doo-doo, doo-doot.

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Black Or White - Michael Jackson 
Wednesday, 30 January, 2013, 05:48 - Singles Of The 1990s
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michael jackson black or white 1Is he or isn't he? He certainly was originally. Later, perhaps he wasn't. The question of whether Michael Jackson was Black Or White was a regular discussion in many bars across the nation, at least it was when anyone could give a damn. In this song, Mr Jackson says that it doesn't matter whether you are black or white. But what if you're neither of these? What about yellow, pink or brown. Or if you are from Alpha Centuri and are green, then what? Or silver? Mr Jackson probably meant to say that it really doesn't matter what color you are, you will still look like a complete idiot trying to do the moonwalk.

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michael jackson black or white remixWhat the original cover for this 1991 single provides is any true test as to whether it matters or not whether you, or anyone else for that matter, is black or white. The remixed cover allows you to take this decision for yourself. Mr Jackson's spooky eyebrows have been replaced by a black girl, and a white girl, in a close embrace. It is down to you to decide whether it matters what color you are, or they are, or green aliens from Alpha Centuri are. But from the looks of the two girls, either will do just fine and there can be no doubt that either of them are a damn sight better at letting you make a decision on color than Mr Jackson is.

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Only Girl (In The World) - Rihanna 
Tuesday, 29 January, 2013, 05:35 - Singles Of The 2010s
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rihanna only girl 1Rihanna is another one who is asking for it. No, not that. But to have her covers remixed. That said, this single from 2010 marked a strong departure from her earlier tracks in that it is less dark and sexualized. Only Girl (In The World) has Ms Fenty singing about how she wants to be made to feel like the only girl in the world. It might not appear it from its upbeat sound, but the song is actually about nuclear holocaust and how, afterwards, only Ms Fenty would survive. This is because of her red hair and her ability to stand in a field full of corn with her red dress being held to cover her boobs instead of actually wearing it.

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rihanna only girl remixIn this remix (which would have contravened the 'tits and bums only' policy if it hadn't been for a careful application of blur) Ms Fenty has been replaced by another redhead, who is also standing in a field. Her replacement looks a lot like 80's pop princess Tiffany. Like Ms Fenty, she has also learnt that by carrying her dress in her hands instead of wearing it, together with having died red hair, the effects of the nuclear weapons are nullified. She is also, the only girl in the world and... oops... there are two of them now. It might be better to change the title to Only Girls (In The World) but that would defeat the nuclear resistant message of the song. Maybe Tiffany's song I Think We're Alone Now referred directly to this situation.

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Born In The USA - Bruce Springsteen 
Monday, 28 January, 2013, 12:45 - Singles Of The 1980s
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bruce springsteen born in the usa 1An all American classic like Apple Pie and July the 4th, Born In The USA is an 80's classic of its own by Bruce Springsteen. The cover for the single is relatively minimalist but almost has the essentials. Firstly, Mr Springsteen is pictured, in full rock-star electric guitar playing style. You can almost hear the chord that he is strumming. He is set against a red, white and blue backdrop that isn't totally dissimilar to the old star spangled banner itself. The main difference being the stars which have been replaced by the title of the song itself. 4 out of 5 perhaps? (Incidentally, you can rate any of the pictures by clicking the blobs at the bottom of each entry).

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bruce springsteen born in the usa remix 1Achieving a remix of this cover was never going to be easy. It's like remixing the white house. For starters you can't take away the red, white and blueness, that would just be plain wrong. But what can be done is to remix Mr Springsteen himself. So instead of his rock-star physique he has been replaced by a physique of a different type. Yes, Mr Springsteen has been replaced by a sexy all-American cheerleader type wearing a patriotic bikini. Though there is only one of her, she is clearly a shining star thereby putting the stars back into the spangled banner. She is an American model who is, it is true to say, is born in the USA. God bless America!

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Superstition - Stevie Wonder 
Sunday, 27 January, 2013, 05:35 - Singles Of The 1970s
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stevie wonder superstition 1As the classic 1970s guitar kicks in you prepare yourself for some proper 70's funk. That marks the introduction to this classic from Stevie Wonder from 1972. Superstition is one of those songs that gets people a-twistin' and a-groovin' on dancefloors even today. The cover, on the other hand, is almost totally dismal in comparison. Just a silhouette of Mr Wonder, his name and the title of the song (which is in a font so large that it doesn't even fit across the cover). The use of an =equals= sign to hyphenate the word is odd. Nothing particularly superstitious about it though.

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stevie wonder superstition remix 1A classic such as this doesn't need that much of a remix. But rather than leave Mr Wonder on his own, we've brought along a couple of sexy girls to dance behind him. They are silhouetted too, but seem to be wearing very little and may even be naked. Unfortunately asking Mr Wonder what they were wearing is a little pointless, and unless they happened to make a lot of noise whilst a-groovin' then Mr Wonder may not even have realized that they were present. Then again, maybe they came and sat on his lap (in the presence of such funk royalty it is only to be expected) in which case he will be able to tell us much more about them!

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Embrace - Fragma 
Saturday, 26 January, 2013, 05:00 - Albums Of The 2000s
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fragma embrace 1What do we have here? An attractive blonde, squatting down, in a pretty dress in some kind of ragged yet picturesque blue-washed area. How this relates to the title of the album or the cover is totally unknown. The blonde in question does not even appear to be the singer for Fragma's 2002 album Embrace so perhaps they just used a mildly sexy picture to try and improve sales of the album. Also, quite possibly, it is intended to attract the kind of club DJs who would play the kind of music that Fragma make. Whatever the reason, it fails the two primary tests of a good cover in that it does not feature the band, nor does it in any way reflect the title of the album.

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fragma embrace remixThe original cover dates from 2002 and the blonde girl pictured on it will now be over 10 years older. And guess what... there is a more up-to-date picture of her available on the Internet. As such this is less of a remixed or remade cover and more of a straightforward update. The other thing that has changed is that the blue-washed area is now a sight more derelict than it was, and some of it has actually collapsed revealing a wild green area behind. There is one other change, and that is that the pretty dress that was originally being worn has, over the intervening years, evaporated (as such dresses have a tendency to do) leaving the lady wearing nothing more than her shoes. To protect her embarrassment at this unfortunate deterioration in her situation, she had has to embrace her greater embarrassment with her hands. So the picture at least now has some connection with the name of the album. It is to be hoped that she manages to find some other work to keep her busy soon, before the whole area is demolished to make way for some new expressway or skyscraper.

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With thanks to Bart for the tip off on this one.
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Summer Holiday - Cliff Richard 
Friday, 25 January, 2013, 05:47 - Singles Of The 1960s, Summer Sizzlers
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cliff richard summer hoilday 1Another fanmade cover for us to showcase. This time from Tim Marshall of Nottingham, England... We're all going on a summer holiday, or at least that's what Cliff Richard has us repeating everytime the sun comes out. This cover from the 1963 single (and film of the same name) has Mr Richard standing on a beach, and he appears to be singing. Is he on holiday? Unlikely, because if he was, the chances are he wouldn't be standing singing whilst someone took his picture. Is it summer? Difficult to tell, but let's give Mr Richard the benefit of the doubt on that. Are we all going with him? No. Nice try Mr Richard but a better lure is required to convince the world to go on a summer holiday to wherever it is you were at the time.

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cliff richard summer holiday remixWhat is little know about the beaches in British holiday resorts in the 1960s is that they were rife with nudists. In fact, during the summer months, the whole British coastline was one great big nudist camp. This is one of the reasons that the foreign holiday business began to grow as reserved families were forced to take their children overseas to get away from the views of danging male gonads that flapped about wherever you looked. It was probably this propensity for nakedness that makes Mr Richard's song so cheerful and why he is so upbeat about going on a summer holiday. In the remixed cover we see a typical photograph taken on a British beach in the 1960s. It's just a shame that the scorn poured by other countries on British humor such as Benny Hill as forced the country to revise its laws so that nudity on British beaches no longer produces endless pictures of this calibre.

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Thanks Tim, keep those remixes coming.
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War - Edwin Starr 
Thursday, 24 January, 2013, 16:45 - Singles Of The 1970s
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edwin starr war 1As with the remixed cover of I Shot The Sheriff, here is yet another cover remix inspired by a picture rather than by the song or the original cover artwork. One look at the remixed version will, without question have you going 'War, huh... what is it good for?' But first to the original cover from 1970. In it's colourized orange hue we see Mr Starr looking, if truth is told, a bit grumpy. The only other addition is the title of the song (and the B-side just for good measure) and of course Mr Starr's name (together with a sticker proclaiming the monotonacity of the recording). Boring? Wake me up when the needle gets to the middle of the disc or when stereo is invented...

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edwin starr war remixSo back to the question that Mr Starr asks us in this famous song... 'War, huh... what is it good for?' Mr Starr replies, maybe rhetorically, 'absolutely nothing'. But this is patently not the case. War is exceptionally good for the many defense contractors who rely on sales to the defense forces to make their large profits. For these, often multi-mega-million dollar, companies, war is very good indeed. The other thing that war appears to be good for, is to get a whole bunch of highly attractive women to stand around wearing only a utility belt and carrying a gun. What the original purpose of this picture is us uncertain. Perhaps it was meant as an advertising promotion but do sexy women really sell guns? Perhaps. Perhaps it is porn for those fixated on military matters. But, and this is making wild and probably highly inaccurate speculation, those for whom military matters are a turn-on would probably regard the women as a highly inaccurate portrayal of real war and would prefer to see shabbily clad insurgent fighters. Whatever the reason, it makes for a top quality remake of the original cover.

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