The Kaiser Chiefs are keen to tell us that Everything Is Average Nowadays. Their impression of this, at least so far as the cover of their single goes, is a plastic shopping bag. The remix presents something far more average: an average looking woman, of average age, average height, and average size. We know this because the one thing that is not average is the amount of clothing she is wearing, so not quite everything nowadays. Mean!
Another sexy remix for Jermaine Stewart. Having told us that you don't have to take your clothes off (to have a good time), he is now telling us to Get Lucky. The original cover might be lucky if you're a retailer of studded leather jackets. The remix on the other hand shows a guy who has got very lucky, as an attractive babe is clearly in the mood for move. She doesn't have to take her clothes off, but no-one seems to have told her that, not even Mr Stewart. Zip!
It seems that cats make a good topic for remixes, and this remix of Honky Cat by Elton John is no exception to the rule. It is particularly worthy of a remix as the original cover has no cat on it at all. The remix shows a cat, or at least a babe dressed as a cat who is, as far as it goes, honky. And so the cover now has the requisite contents and should be regarded as a feline masterpiece. Or so you might think, or not think, or even not care. Scratch!
Another single that in theory scores full marks, as on the cover of Black Cat by Janet Jackson we find Ms Jackson posing with a black feline. So no point remixing this one then? Probably. But, as you might have guessed by now, we like naked babes rather than clothed ones, and so on the remix we have just replaced the picture with one of a babe who is not strictly naked, but is instead wearing a black cat outfit which consists of little more than some cats' ears, black thigh boots and a long black tail. Meow!
We think Nas was onto a good idea when he put together the cover for his single Street Dreams, though it's a little back to front. On the cover we find someone waving a dollar bill out of the window of a car to entice a young man. On the remix we find a similar situation, though one that has progressed some. We think that someone waved a dollar bill (or more) out of the window of their car and they enticed a naked babe to come on over and put her head through the window. Or something like that anyway. Sterical!
The Turtles are apparently Happy Together and although there are one or two smiling faces on the cover of their single, it is not at all clear that everyone in the picture is happy to be together. The remix shows two babes who seem very happy to be together. Perhaps it is the fact that they are both naked and therefore are happy to have the mutual support for whatever they are going to do next - such as to find out where their clothes have disappeared to. Joyous!
Now, when we at AllBum.Art are faced with helping someone out, our warped minds immediately think of helping someone out of their clothes. The original cover of (Somebody) Help Me Out by Beggar And Co does not reflect our view of assistance, but the remix does as we find one babe helping another out of her clothes. The fact that the babe doing the helping is naked suggests that she might have had some help too. Assistance!
The Casbah, as any geographer will tell you, is the old quarters of a north African or Middle Eastern country. So when The Clash sing Rock The Casbah and compliment this with a single cover that shows two middle eastern gentlemen rocking to the beat, we are all good and full marks are scored for the relevance of the cover artwork. The remixed cover loses some of this but shows a different way in which a Casbah could be rocked, rocked to its core by having a naked babe riding a camel into town. Yowsah!
It's Cool For Cats, or at least it is according to Squeeze. The original cover of their single may have the two letter 'o's in the word 'cool' in the shape of cats' eyes but why is this so cool? On the remix we find a cool cat, in the form of a babe wearing cats' ears but little else, which is no doubt why she is so cool. Simple really when you think about it. Anyone fancy a squeeze? Tight!