Oh dear. Mark Dinning, you should be ashamed of yourself (if you hadn't died in 1986). What an opportunity is presented by the cover of a single called Teen Angel, and you waste it by sitting there with a guitar looking for all the world like neither a teen, nor an angel. Damn good job that we here at AllBum.Art were able to help and replace you with an angel who is around 19 years old. A real teen angel if ever there weren't one. Snegatives!
What do you know, another remix for The Style Council. On the original cover of their single Walls Come Tumbling Down, we see the band members looking very, well, kind of like they are in a band posing for the cover of a single. In the remix we see a babe valiantly trying to keep the building standing as the walls tumble down by using her super human strength to hold them up. In heels. And naked. Power!
We did laugh when the original cover of the Pixies' album Surfer Rosa was brought to our attention. It seems they were trying to pre-empt any remix by having a Spanish looking flamenco dancer stand topless amidst some religious symbolism. Nice try, but when we translated Surfer Rosa from Spanish into Japanese, and then from Japanese to Russian, then to Italian, back to Spanish, then to German, and eventually English, we found that it actually meant 'woman red clothes naked pose mountain'. So that's what the remix is. Spike!
What have we here? On the original cover of Do You Really Want To Hurt Me by Culture Club we see some dude in heavy make-up and with dreadlocks. Most likely that would put him in the 'about to be hurt' category in many cities late at night. In the remix we see a babe who is all but crucified. Though she too is about to be hurt, she has a cheeky look that asks the question of whether you really want to do that to her. Answer!
There was a time when it was totally unfashionable to listen to Barry Manilow. That time is still with us, but things can be improved with a decent remix. Or an indecent remix. Either way, this remix of I Made It Through The Rain replaces a rather grey and grainy picture of Mr Manilow with a babe who may have made it through the rain, but has accidentally sat under a bucket of water with holes in it. Splosh!
For such an obscure artist, it's odd that this is not the first remix for a track by Pizzaman. This time we find the mozzarella and tomato covered circular man singing about Sex On The Streets. The cover of the single may allude obtusely to the circular and tomato covering that Pizzaman might have, but where's the street and the sex? The remix sorts this out with far less need for culinary accompaniments. Oregano!
New romantics Heaven 17 tell us that they are being Crushed By The Wheels Of Industry. It would seem that, on the original cover of the single, this meant taking a man in a flat cap and spraying him with orange and dark green paint. Perhaps that's what classes for being crushed. Not here though. In the remix, we see a man who is being badly crushed. By the wheels of industry? It's hard to tell because there's some fat woman sitting on him. Squashed!
To Know Him Is To Love Him. Matt here in the AllBum.Art design department seems to think that this song is written about him. But as Matt was not even born when The Teddy Bears wrote this song in 1958, we think he has ideas above his station. What can we say about the remix of the cover artwork that doesn't speak for itself? Well there's a teddy bear, and a girl getting to know him. If her name were Teddy, she'd be a Teddy bare, so then there would be two of them. Double!
Grease, apparently, is the word. Or so says Frankie Valli. His smiling, fuzzy-haired face grinning out at us from the original cover of the single makes you wonder why grease is a special word at all, not just 'a' word, but 'the' word. The remix helps a little as we see that he is referring to the grease that seems to have come off the hand of someone helping a lost maiden to repair her car. Perhaps next time some overalls would come in handy. Plap!