Naked In The Rain - Blue Pearl 
Saturday, 12 January, 2013, 05:39 - Singles Of The 1990s
Posted by Administrator
blue pearl naked in rain 1As titles for songs go, the 1990 hit from Blue Pearl called Naked In The Rain is like a red rag to a bull when it comes to possible twists on the cover art for the single. The original cover shows a blue pearl, which is one of the rarest colours of pearl. The pearl is sat amidst some material which appears to be silk and is also blue in colour. It could be argued that as the pearl is not covered up, it is naked. There is no rain though and although the title of the song is Naked In The Rain, the lyrics make it quite clear that the idea is to go 'dancing naked in the rain'. Pearls, being blobs of calcium carbonate, are unlikely to be able to go dancing and thus the cover of the single, whilst a good attempt, does fail to reflect the charisma of the song.

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].

blue pearl naked in rain 2In the revised version, we find a naked girl (or at least she appears naked from the waist upwards, and it must therefore be presumed, especially as she is clearly quite wet, that she hasn't bothered to dress at all). The naked girl is standing in what looks like rain, though given the fact that it is dark, it is not clear whether this is real rain or simulated rain. Either way, water is pouring in drops and covering her body. Is she dancing? Well, she's not having a shower (you can tell because she isn't all soapy and her pose is not one that is normally associated with showering). She may not be dancing, but she is striking a pose so maybe she is dancing to Madonna's Vogue? There does not appear to be a pearl in the picture, but that is not the case - the naked girl is called 'Pearl' and is clearly a precious jewel too.

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].
add comment ( 3015 views )   |  permalink   |  Naked In The Rain   |  fullfullhalfnono ( 3 / 1342 )
Heartbreaker - Mariah Carey 
Friday, 11 January, 2013, 12:02 - Singles Of The 1990s
Posted by Administrator
mariah carey heartbreaker 1Tink Delorio writes to us from New York (birthplace of Mariah Carey). He says:

It's not often that the cover of a single leaves little to be improved upon. But as Mariah is so cute and has great boobs which are virtually on full display, the cover of the single Heartbreaker should be honored on your site as one that needs no forbetterance.

First off, is 'Tink' really your name. Isn't it short for something. Second, is 'forbetterance' a word?

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].

mariah carey heartbreaker 2If you are trying to say that you think Mariah is cute and you are happy not to see her tits, then go Tink. But to suggest that there is no forbetterance to be had is pure fortinkerollox (not a great word but you get the idea). What if the lady were not Mariah but someone even more curvy? And what if her t-shirt was pulled up so far that her (exceptionally large) tits were much more visible? Wouldn't that make the cover far, far, better? Such a cover would look something like that on the right, see? Now Tink, doesn't that deliver you the forbetterance you seek?

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].
add comment ( 9440 views )   |  permalink   |  Heartbreaker   |  fullfullfullnono ( 3 / 1379 )
Chiquitita - ABBA 
Thursday, 10 January, 2013, 12:51 - Singles Of The 1970s
Posted by Administrator
abba chiquitita 1The cover from this 1978 single by Swedish songsters ABBA has their pictures on it. That ticks a great big box. But there remains one enormous problem with the cover and with the single itself. The cover does not explain what the fück a Chiquitita actually is. The lyrics are veiled in mystery with lines such as 'shine once more, like you did before'. Thankfully the guy who sits three doors down says he speaks Swedish and claims that 'chiq' is just Swedish for 'chic' and that 'tita' (which apparently should be written 'titå' but presumably has been simplified for English speaking audiences) means tits.

Click for a full-size image [600px by 600px].

abba chiquitita 2To help those who don't speak Swedish to understand the song, it would be much more useful if the cover contained a picture of 'chiq's showing us their 'titå', then those crazy Swedes and their off-beat lyrics would be much easier to understand. Of course, that can be fixed, and on the new cover we see two chiqs who are obviously Swedish because they appear to be naked, they are in a sauna, and just like ABBA, one of them is a blonde and the other a brunette. And the fact that they are naked means we can see their titå.

Click for a full-size image [600px by 600px].

P.S. A guy a bit further down the corridor claims that Chiquitita is Spanish for 'little girl' but this makes no sense and so the Swedish translation will, from hereforth, be adopted as the only true meaning.
add comment ( 2369 views )   |  permalink   |  Chiquitita   |  fullfullfullnono ( 3 / 1242 )
White Lines (Don't Do It) - Grandmaster Flash And Melle Mel 
Wednesday, 9 January, 2013, 12:28 - Singles Of The 1980s
Posted by Administrator
grandmaster flash and melle white lines 1Three flashes in a row, anyone might start believing that there was some logic in the apparently random songs picked to appear. Anyone would be largely wrong. The cover for this 1983 song by Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel fails on the same front that many other covers do. Firstly, the band members are nowhere to be seen, and secondly the picture included in on the cover art has no White Lines on it. The titles are shown as if they have been printed on various different bits of paper and then ripped up and stuck together and this does leave a few White Lines, but not really enough to qualify.

Click for full-size image [600px by 600px].

grandmaster flash and melle white lines 2And here's another thing: what on earth are they going on about in the song. Something like a phenomenon baby? What is, some desolate urban scene with graffiti? Hardly now. So the cover has been revised to show a phenomenal young white lady who has obviously had her bikini on whilst sunbathing and has now come inside to cool off. Unfortunately for her, having taken off her bikini, she has revealed the white lines it has left. Silly girl. If only she'd listened to the Grandmaster she'd have been told not to do it. Only one thing left to say about the fact that her white lines go a long way, and that is: Rang dang diggedy dang-a-dang.

Click for full-size image [600px by 600px].
add comment ( 2713 views )   |  permalink   |  White Lines (Don't Do It)   |  fullfullfullnono ( 3 / 1361 )
Flashdance (What A Feeling) - Irene Cara 
Tuesday, 8 January, 2013, 12:49 - Singles Of The 1980s
Posted by Administrator
irene cara flashdance 1Oooh, what a feelin', when you're dancin' on the seelin'. No, not that one, that's Lionel Richie you're thinking of. This is the Oooh, what a feelin', feel's believin'. From the 1983 film Flashdance (whose name is most probably taken from this sing) no less, the cover sees some dancing type in leg-warmers sitting on the floor. Oddly, she is neither flashin', nor for that matter, feelin', but is just sat there being a bit dull. Grey. Dull. See? But despite this cover art dullness, the film was a rip roaring success. It's about a welder who, well, who dances but doesn't flash, unless the flash relates to the light from her arc-welding lamp. Yawn.

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].

irene cara flashdance 2Still here? Well let's hope this updated version provides you with the zing you need to relive those halcyon moments from the film. The dull welding girl type has been replaced by a dancer who seems to fit into her leg warmers in an altogether more pleasing manner. Some may argue that it would have been more pleasing if she had been in the altogether, but that's not how AllBum.Art rolls. And it's clear that the dancer has no rolls either as there doesn't appear to be an ounce of flesh out of place. Is she also a welder? You have to ask yourself whether you really need to know the answer to this question or whether you are content to let such unimportant issues float on the wind like the sparks from an Oxy-Acetelene welding torch.

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].
add comment ( 2589 views )   |  permalink   |  Flashdance (What A Feeling)   |  fullfullfullnono ( 3.1 / 1324 )
Flash - Queen 
Monday, 7 January, 2013, 16:34 - Singles Of The 1980s
Posted by Administrator
queen flash 1Whilst we are in the realm of the Britannic majesty of Queen, there is one more song that is just gagging to have a cover that reflects it's double-entendre if not triple or quadruple-entendre title and that is Flash. Recently re-popularized by the film Ted, the song is the theme tune to the 1980 movie Flash Gordon. The cover for the single on the other hand is as boring as a discussion on quantum rocket theory would be with Ted's supposed belle Tammy Lynn. That is to say, blue. With a few speckled white bits of dubious origin. And the word 'Queen' in white. And the word 'Flash' in red. Rocket science it ain't.

Click for full-size image [600px by 600px].

queen flash 2Of course there are many picture of ladies 'flashing' that could adorn the revised cover, but only one has the regality and authenticity to grace such a noble cover and that is Ornella Muti who played Princess Aura in the original Flash Gordon movie. Thankfully there are a range of pictures of Ms Muti 'flashing' to choose from, as she has posed for such upmarket and prestigious magazines as Playboy. Here she is flashing some flesh and demonstrating why she was the ideal person to play Mr Gordon's love interest given the odd propensity for all her clothes to just fall off when presented with a stiff ray gun.

Click for full-size image [600px by 600px].
add comment ( 2638 views )   |  permalink   |  Flash   |  fullfullfullnono ( 3 / 1326 )
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen 
Sunday, 6 January, 2013, 12:04 - Singles Of The 1970s
Posted by Administrator
fat bottomed girls queen 1If ever there was a single made specially to suit AllBum.Art it has to be Fat Bottomed Girls/Bicycle Race. The single was a double A side. In this case A most exquisitely stands for ass and even British pop legends Queen picked up on the irony of their choice of songs for this double A side and placed a picture of a fat bottomed girl riding a bicycle on their cover. There's not really much that can be done to criticize this rather fetching cover, but that does not mean that there isn't an opportunity to modernize it in true AllBum.Art fashion.

Click for full-size image [600px by 600px].

fat bottomed girls queen 2So the question is simply, should the focus be on the fat bottomed nature of the girls sung about, or the bicycle race. Or, as Queen had it, should both be included. In the end, the decision made itself when a Manga character riding a bike appeared in an inappropriately destined Google search and thus the new cover was born. The original 1970s fat bottomed girl has been replaced by a spanking new 2010s version who, though not necessarily having a particularly fat bottom, and who is not strictly a girl (being after all, a cartoon character) is most definitely worthy of a place on the cover of the single. If only all drawings were so delicious, let alone there being such delightful creatures in real life!

Click for full-size image [600px by 600px].
add comment ( 2888 views )   |  permalink   |  Fat Bottomed Girls   |  fullfullfullnono ( 3 / 1363 )
Sweets For My Sweet - CJ Lewis 
Saturday, 5 January, 2013, 12:04 - Singles Of The 1990s
Posted by Administrator
cj lewis sweets for my sweet 1The cover for CJ Lewis's 1994 cover version of The Drifters classic Sweets For My Sweet appeared on the radar thanks to an e-mail from Reg Spineby of England (whose Samantha Fox cover is featured on the site). Reg says that he long wondered what the connection is between the song and the picture of the lady flashing (what exactly?) at Mr Lewis on the cover of the single. Reg says that as far as he knows, none of the words sweet, sugar or honey (which all appear in the song) are English slang for 'lift up your skirt and show me what's underneath', though Reg does admit to not being 100% sure of whether such slang may have existed in the 1990s.

Click for full-size image [600px by 600px].

cj lewis sweets for my sweet 2That was the 1990s, and things have moved on since then in many different ways. Firstly, whatever English slang may have been trying to say, it would now be just as easy to say to the lady in question, 'lift up your skirt and show us what's underneath' as Reg tells us that such language is now commonplace in English nightclubs. In the updated cover for the song, the lady has continued to remove her clothes and to flash things at Mr Lewis. Mr Lewis himself has also changed, as has the color of his couch, but it's likely that the original one from the 1990s is now rather decrepit. It is still not 100% clear what the lady is attempting to show Mr Lewis but one thing is certain, she has a mighty fine ass.

Click for full-size image [600px by 600px].
add comment ( 2447 views )   |  permalink   |  Sweets For My Sweet   |  fullfullfullnono ( 3.1 / 1321 )
9 To 5 - Sheena Easton 
Friday, 4 January, 2013, 12:40 - Singles Of The 1980s
Posted by Administrator
sheena easton 9 to 5 1Welcome back to work after the holiday season. And to get back into the mood, here's a song about going to work. A number 1 hit from Scottish songstress Sheena Easton 9 To 5 (which we know best as Morning Train) is all about that monotonous daily grind. Ms Easton is perhaps best know for becoming arm candy for Prince. It's all too easy to forget that she was an artist in her own right. The cover sees Ms Easton in a pink raincoat stood by a clock. Why the raincoat? Who is to say. The question that does matter, is what exactly is she wearing under the raincoat?

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].

sheena easton 9 to 5 2Wonder no more as AllBum.Art reveal the answer. In fact there's more than just the answer revealed but also the fact that under the pink raincoat, there is nothing and everything to show. Nothing in the sense that there's nothing underneath the raincoat, as opposed to nothing to see. Everything in the sense that there's everything you might expect to see. The oddness of this is that in opening the raincoat a little to give a peek of what lies beneath, Ms Easton's hair and make-up also seem to have changed, as has her body shape. No matter, it's a little clearer to understand what Prince saw in her now.

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].
1 comment ( 2759 views )   |  permalink   |  9 To 5 a   |  fullfullhalfnono ( 3 / 1423 )
Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now - Samantha Fox 
Thursday, 3 January, 2013, 12:27 - Singles Of The 1980s
Posted by Administrator
samantha fox nothings gonna stop me now 1It's always nice to receive a submission from someone new. This one comes courtesy of Reg Splineby of Grimsby, England. Reg tells us that Samantha Fox was a 'page 3' model in England in the 1980s. Apparently this means that she posed topless for one of the national newspapers. After her modelling career, she went on to have some, limited, chart success in England but was apparently much more popular in Eastern Europe and Russia. This is the cover for her 1987 single Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now in which Samantha does not appear to have followed her own instructions as she has stopped short of stripping off.

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].

samantha fox nothings gonna stop me now 2Reg has sent us this alternative single cover which shows, as he put it, 'Sam's bountiful assets'. In this version, nothing has stopped her now and she has stripped off to be topless. Reg declines to say any more about Samantha, or what his motivation was for producing this alternative cover, but perhaps a picture speaks a thousand words, and there is really no reason for him to provide added commentary. Not to worry, we can see why Ms Fox might cause a stir, especially if she posed like that in a national newspaper. Maybe the New York Times could take a leaf from the English press with their pictorials. If that was the 1980s it makes you wonder what kind of pictures appear in English newspapers today...

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].
add comment ( 2844 views )   |  permalink   |  Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now   |  fullfullfullnono ( 3.1 / 1417 )

<<First <Back | 162 | 163 | 164 | 165 | 166 | 167 | 168 | 169 | 170 | 171 | Next> Last>>