Summer Holiday - Cliff Richard 
Friday, 25 January, 2013, 05:47 - Singles Of The 1960s, Summer Sizzlers
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cliff richard summer hoilday 1Another fanmade cover for us to showcase. This time from Tim Marshall of Nottingham, England... We're all going on a summer holiday, or at least that's what Cliff Richard has us repeating everytime the sun comes out. This cover from the 1963 single (and film of the same name) has Mr Richard standing on a beach, and he appears to be singing. Is he on holiday? Unlikely, because if he was, the chances are he wouldn't be standing singing whilst someone took his picture. Is it summer? Difficult to tell, but let's give Mr Richard the benefit of the doubt on that. Are we all going with him? No. Nice try Mr Richard but a better lure is required to convince the world to go on a summer holiday to wherever it is you were at the time.

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cliff richard summer holiday remixWhat is little know about the beaches in British holiday resorts in the 1960s is that they were rife with nudists. In fact, during the summer months, the whole British coastline was one great big nudist camp. This is one of the reasons that the foreign holiday business began to grow as reserved families were forced to take their children overseas to get away from the views of danging male gonads that flapped about wherever you looked. It was probably this propensity for nakedness that makes Mr Richard's song so cheerful and why he is so upbeat about going on a summer holiday. In the remixed cover we see a typical photograph taken on a British beach in the 1960s. It's just a shame that the scorn poured by other countries on British humor such as Benny Hill as forced the country to revise its laws so that nudity on British beaches no longer produces endless pictures of this calibre.

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Thanks Tim, keep those remixes coming.
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War - Edwin Starr 
Thursday, 24 January, 2013, 16:45 - Singles Of The 1970s
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edwin starr war 1As with the remixed cover of I Shot The Sheriff, here is yet another cover remix inspired by a picture rather than by the song or the original cover artwork. One look at the remixed version will, without question have you going 'War, huh... what is it good for?' But first to the original cover from 1970. In it's colourized orange hue we see Mr Starr looking, if truth is told, a bit grumpy. The only other addition is the title of the song (and the B-side just for good measure) and of course Mr Starr's name (together with a sticker proclaiming the monotonacity of the recording). Boring? Wake me up when the needle gets to the middle of the disc or when stereo is invented...

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edwin starr war remixSo back to the question that Mr Starr asks us in this famous song... 'War, huh... what is it good for?' Mr Starr replies, maybe rhetorically, 'absolutely nothing'. But this is patently not the case. War is exceptionally good for the many defense contractors who rely on sales to the defense forces to make their large profits. For these, often multi-mega-million dollar, companies, war is very good indeed. The other thing that war appears to be good for, is to get a whole bunch of highly attractive women to stand around wearing only a utility belt and carrying a gun. What the original purpose of this picture is us uncertain. Perhaps it was meant as an advertising promotion but do sexy women really sell guns? Perhaps. Perhaps it is porn for those fixated on military matters. But, and this is making wild and probably highly inaccurate speculation, those for whom military matters are a turn-on would probably regard the women as a highly inaccurate portrayal of real war and would prefer to see shabbily clad insurgent fighters. Whatever the reason, it makes for a top quality remake of the original cover.

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I Shot The Sheriff - Eric Clapton 
Wednesday, 23 January, 2013, 05:43 - Singles Of The 1970s
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eric clapton i shot the sheriff 1Sometimes the name of an album or single inspires a remixed cover. Sometimes it is the original cover itself which demands a revised version to be produced. Sometimes, as is the case here, it is a random picture found whilst innocently trawling the Internet which forms the inspiration itself. Let's first look at the original cover which shows Eric Clapton standing with a guitar, and a beard. In good 1970s cover fashion the name of the song, I Shot The Sheriff, and of course Mr Clapton's name appear on the cover too. That's pretty much all there is to it and in itself the cover, or title of the song or artists would be insufficient to inspire any kind of album art remake.

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eric clapton i shot the sheriff remix 1The inspiration in this case came from the picture that replaces that of Mr Clapton. In his place is a young lady, in a flimsy dress and high heels, carrying a whopping great gun. There are of course other songs which this picture could have been used to remix the cover of, but the question that shot immediately to mind was, 'who is it that she is looking to shoot?' The answer which immediately came to mind was, 'the sheriff, of course'. There are lots of other possibilities, and it is possible, of course, that she is just a model posing with the gun for publicity purposes (a bad move following recent events) and wasn't intending to shoot anyone. But artistic license permits all kinds of extrapolation and thus this particular remade cover was born. Following her shooting of the sheriff, she escaped by hiding the gun and her clothes (which had gunpowder residue on them) in a garbage can and running naked to her hideout several miles away. Sadly, no pictures of this part of her story are available.

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Slippery When Wet - Bon Jovi 
Tuesday, 22 January, 2013, 05:38 - Albums Of The 1980s
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bon jovi slippery when wet 1An album title waiting to be remixed if ever there was one. In fact a quick Internet search will reveal many remixed and fanmade covers for this 1986 album from Bon Jovi that immediately recognise the idea that there are many things that are Slippery When Wet but few more commonplace, or aesthetically pleasing, than a pair of boobs. The original cover shows nothing more than the words 'slippery when wet' scrawled upon what appears to be the glass screen of a shower that has been splattered with droplets of water. Oh, and of course the all important name of the band as well - but notably none of the band members - nor the person responsible for scrawling the words on the shower glass are in any way prominent.

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bon jovi slippery when wet remixIn the remixed version, what has happened is that the person who was placed in the shower by the photographic team has moved such that she is now in the shot. Whilst we cannot see her face, it does appear that she has gotten wet whilst being involved in the photoshoot. What is a little odd is that she seems to have taken the opportunity of being in the shower to cover her body in some kind of oil. Maybe this was to repel the water that was clearly involved in making the album cover. The net result is that she appears to be both very wet and very very slippery. It seems quite possible that this was one of the requirements of the photographer but as she doesn't appear on the original cover, it seems a lot to ask. It's fitting that she should make it onto the remixed cover so that her efforts are not in vain, and are instead recognised for the valuable contribution that they make.

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Paradise - Coldplay 
Monday, 21 January, 2013, 05:27 - Singles Of The 2010s
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paradise coldplayMore mid-winter mayhem from those British boys Coldplay. This time their single Paradise is the focus of a remixed cover. This is one of those single covers that deserves to be remixed. It shows what exactly? Well, the words 'Coldplay' and 'Paradise' of course, but the rest of it is just some arty-farty nonsense that clearly means something to someone somewhere but doesn't do anything to convey coldness, playfulness of anyone's vision of what paradise might be like. Unless your idea of paradise is abstract blue-colored artwork. That being said, it is a great song though.

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paradise coldplay 2In the tradition of remixing the cover, the cold playfulness is now bare for all to see in the form of a naked lady who seems very happy to be sprawled, in the nude, in the snow. The lady in question is a picture of paradise itself, well at least she's more like most men's idea of paradise than the blue splodges on the original cover. The question is this: if you look closely (surely you need no encouragement to do this), the snow that is strategically placed to cover her more personal bits looks fake. Whether anything else is fake is less certain but on very close inspection (go on, take a really close look) it may be that she is not in real snow at all and may not be playing in the cold. Does this make her any less of an angel of paradise?

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Yellow - Coldplay 
Sunday, 20 January, 2013, 05:16 - Singles Of The 2000s
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yellow coldplayOur Canadian friend Micheal Boob-lay presents lots of opportunities to play around with the artwork covering his singles and albums. It seems our British friends Coldplay offer a similarly wide range of opportunities. The twist here is in 'cold play', as in playing outside in the cold. Thankfully there are lots of songs to choose from, nearly as many as there are pictures of hot babes in cold snowy situations. It seems appropriate then, to start with one of Coldplay's earliest singles, Yellow. Their cover has a yellow flower on a yellow background. How inventive!

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yellow coldplay remixSo how do you fuse cold, play and the color yellow into an alternative picture. Well the obvious one is to have a sexy babe peeing in some snow and thereby turning it yellow. The problem here is that most such pictures contravene the 'Allbum.Art tits and bums only policy' (there is no such policy but the idea is not to make pornographic covers, just sexy, cheeky ones). So here is a girl, who is hot, naked and in the snow, and clearly desperate to pee. The yellow will therefore follow but she is obviously playing in the cold. More cold play remixed single and album covers to follow no doubt, especially while the winter weather leads naturally to thoughts of naked chicks playing in the snow.

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U Girls (Look So Sexy) - Nush 
Saturday, 19 January, 2013, 05:03 - Singles Of The 1990s
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nush u girlsThere aren't many songs with the words 'sexy' and 'girls' in the title and so it was a joy to find this 1994 single which, to be fair, is very obscure but does at least offer the chance for a really good remix of the cover artwork. The original cover has a girl in a t-shirt with the word Nush on it on an extreme close-up that only shows her chest. Beneath this is the title of the track U Girls (Look So Sexy). But there is only one girl on the cover, and she doesn't look that sexy either as all you can see is her freaking t-shirt, though it would appear that she may not be wearing a bra and thus there is a tempting but nonetheless obscured hint of a nipple (or two).

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nush u girls remixThe remixed version really does live up to the name of the song. Gone is the one t-shirt bedecked female, replaced by four girls who are totally naked, unless you count the pearl necklaces they are wearing (why they should all be wearing these is a mystery, perhaps they belong to some pearl-related cult). They could, of course, be wearing legwarmers and given their sexy gait, are most likely wearing high heels, but these are out of shot so it's not possible to tell. They definitely look so sexy as they all have super peachy asses. Does that make them Nush?

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Girls - Sugababes 
Friday, 18 January, 2013, 05:53 - Singles Of The 2000s
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sugababes girls 1Another entry submitted to us from a keen user of our remixed album art. This one comes from Dennie Macnamara from Belfast, Ireland. He says that the song Girls by the Sugababes is very popular in his country for a number of good reasons. Firstly, it's one of those anthems that girls like to show off to and when played in a nightclub often results in a lot of raunchy dancing. Secondly, the Sugababes are, he says, 'quite cute themselves'. And finally the title of the song is almost ideally placed for a remix into something different. The cover shows the three Sugababes who appear to be dancing about a bit - actually ticking all the boxes in that (a) it shows the Sugababes and (b) it shows girls - thereby fully fulfilling the function of the cover.

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sugababes girls 2Dennie sent this remixed cover of which he says, 'I thought that the title Girls really should be accompanied by a cover which shows more than just the 3 Sugababes. Three girls is OK but if you were told that you were going to a party where there would be girls, you would expect more than 3. So I made this remixed version. There are 8 girls, which feels like a much better number and I wouldn't mind feeling any of the girls from amongst that number!' Well done Dennie, this is a good remix. It would be better still if the girls were 'dirty dancing' in the way that you say happens when this song is played in nightclubs where you live. Busty babes dancing topless can be a recipe for disaster, but this lot don't look energetic enough to cause any such disaster to occur.

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Cold As Ice - Foreigner 
Thursday, 17 January, 2013, 05:50 - Singles Of The 1970s
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foreigner cold as ice 1The cover of this 1977 single from soft rock legendeña¹ Foreigner looks like something that a college student has hand-drawn during their lunchbreak. It does appear to show the band members, but in almost cartoon form. Why they are wearing long raincoats and are stood amongst some old-style leather luggage is, frankly, neither clear, nor important. The color of their faces would not, at first glance, demonstrate any kind of low temperature environment being flushed with rosy cheeks. Even at a second glance, the solution to this anomoly does not reveal itself in any meaningful way. But then again, the lyrics of the song 'you're as cold as ice' suggest that it may not be the band themselves who are chilly, but the person (presumably female) that they are singing about.

¹ legendeña is esperanto for not-quite-legends

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foreigner cold as ice 2The Internet, of course, can find anything even a long lost picture of a freezing cold girl being song about by a soft rock bandoola². And here she is - the girl that Foreigner are singing about. The Internet tells us that her name is Glacia and, common sense tells us that she is literally, as cold as ice. This is not because she has mutated genes which enable her body temperature to sink to 32F, but instead that someone has mistakenly left her standing in an ice cold field with no clothes on, or at least none that are visible. It seems much more appropriate that the cover for the single should feature Glacia than it should the band themselves and this is exactly what this revision of the artwork depicts.

² bandoola is esperanto for almost-worthy-of-being-called-a-classic-band

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Set Fire To The Rain - Adele 
Wednesday, 16 January, 2013, 05:47 - Singles Of The 2010s
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adele set fire to the rain 1Buxom British babe Adele's 2011 song Set Fire To The Rain is something of an enigma. The cover for the single shows Adele but gives no indicate of how the act of setting fire to rain is to be carried out. When it comes to setting fire to rain, then this is a bit of a thorny problem. On Earth at least, the fact that rain is made of water tends to rule out any flammability. So it must be that the rain in question would be on another planet where the atmosphere is made of volatile hydrocarbons such that the rain can be ignited. This would also require the air to have some oxygen content and, if not handled carefully, could result in the complete planet being burned to a crisp. It seems unlikely then, that Ms Adkins is singing about setting fire to rain in a literal sense, but more in a metaphoric one.

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adele set fire to the rain 2How, then, does one set fire to rain metaphorically. One option might be to shine orange light into the rain and make each droplet appear to be on fire, though the fact that when it hit the floor, it would extinguish any existing fires would make this rather pointless in many ways. The option that makes most sense from a 'cover of a single' perspective, is that setting fire relates more to making the rain appear hot, and by appear, this is not raising its temperature, but adding something that is aesthetically 'hot', and by aesthetically hot, this does not mean just the color orange. What could possibly be hotter than a naked girl, except perhaps two naked girls. The revised cover features just this juxtaposition - a naked girl in some rain - who is metaphorically setting fire to the rain by being a hottie. Whether this is what is meant by Ms Adkins is not certain but it is sufficient, aesthetically speaking, to decode the enigma hidden in the song's lyrics.

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