U Girls (Look So Sexy) - Nush 
Saturday, 19 January, 2013, 05:03 - Singles Of The 1990s
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nush u girlsThere aren't many songs with the words 'sexy' and 'girls' in the title and so it was a joy to find this 1994 single which, to be fair, is very obscure but does at least offer the chance for a really good remix of the cover artwork. The original cover has a girl in a t-shirt with the word Nush on it on an extreme close-up that only shows her chest. Beneath this is the title of the track U Girls (Look So Sexy). But there is only one girl on the cover, and she doesn't look that sexy either as all you can see is her freaking t-shirt, though it would appear that she may not be wearing a bra and thus there is a tempting but nonetheless obscured hint of a nipple (or two).

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nush u girls remixThe remixed version really does live up to the name of the song. Gone is the one t-shirt bedecked female, replaced by four girls who are totally naked, unless you count the pearl necklaces they are wearing (why they should all be wearing these is a mystery, perhaps they belong to some pearl-related cult). They could, of course, be wearing legwarmers and given their sexy gait, are most likely wearing high heels, but these are out of shot so it's not possible to tell. They definitely look so sexy as they all have super peachy asses. Does that make them Nush?

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Girls - Sugababes 
Friday, 18 January, 2013, 05:53 - Singles Of The 2000s
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sugababes girls 1Another entry submitted to us from a keen user of our remixed album art. This one comes from Dennie Macnamara from Belfast, Ireland. He says that the song Girls by the Sugababes is very popular in his country for a number of good reasons. Firstly, it's one of those anthems that girls like to show off to and when played in a nightclub often results in a lot of raunchy dancing. Secondly, the Sugababes are, he says, 'quite cute themselves'. And finally the title of the song is almost ideally placed for a remix into something different. The cover shows the three Sugababes who appear to be dancing about a bit - actually ticking all the boxes in that (a) it shows the Sugababes and (b) it shows girls - thereby fully fulfilling the function of the cover.

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sugababes girls 2Dennie sent this remixed cover of which he says, 'I thought that the title Girls really should be accompanied by a cover which shows more than just the 3 Sugababes. Three girls is OK but if you were told that you were going to a party where there would be girls, you would expect more than 3. So I made this remixed version. There are 8 girls, which feels like a much better number and I wouldn't mind feeling any of the girls from amongst that number!' Well done Dennie, this is a good remix. It would be better still if the girls were 'dirty dancing' in the way that you say happens when this song is played in nightclubs where you live. Busty babes dancing topless can be a recipe for disaster, but this lot don't look energetic enough to cause any such disaster to occur.

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Cold As Ice - Foreigner 
Thursday, 17 January, 2013, 05:50 - Singles Of The 1970s
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foreigner cold as ice 1The cover of this 1977 single from soft rock legendeña¹ Foreigner looks like something that a college student has hand-drawn during their lunchbreak. It does appear to show the band members, but in almost cartoon form. Why they are wearing long raincoats and are stood amongst some old-style leather luggage is, frankly, neither clear, nor important. The color of their faces would not, at first glance, demonstrate any kind of low temperature environment being flushed with rosy cheeks. Even at a second glance, the solution to this anomoly does not reveal itself in any meaningful way. But then again, the lyrics of the song 'you're as cold as ice' suggest that it may not be the band themselves who are chilly, but the person (presumably female) that they are singing about.

¹ legendeña is esperanto for not-quite-legends

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foreigner cold as ice 2The Internet, of course, can find anything even a long lost picture of a freezing cold girl being song about by a soft rock bandoola². And here she is - the girl that Foreigner are singing about. The Internet tells us that her name is Glacia and, common sense tells us that she is literally, as cold as ice. This is not because she has mutated genes which enable her body temperature to sink to 32F, but instead that someone has mistakenly left her standing in an ice cold field with no clothes on, or at least none that are visible. It seems much more appropriate that the cover for the single should feature Glacia than it should the band themselves and this is exactly what this revision of the artwork depicts.

² bandoola is esperanto for almost-worthy-of-being-called-a-classic-band

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Set Fire To The Rain - Adele 
Wednesday, 16 January, 2013, 05:47 - Singles Of The 2010s
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adele set fire to the rain 1Buxom British babe Adele's 2011 song Set Fire To The Rain is something of an enigma. The cover for the single shows Adele but gives no indicate of how the act of setting fire to rain is to be carried out. When it comes to setting fire to rain, then this is a bit of a thorny problem. On Earth at least, the fact that rain is made of water tends to rule out any flammability. So it must be that the rain in question would be on another planet where the atmosphere is made of volatile hydrocarbons such that the rain can be ignited. This would also require the air to have some oxygen content and, if not handled carefully, could result in the complete planet being burned to a crisp. It seems unlikely then, that Ms Adkins is singing about setting fire to rain in a literal sense, but more in a metaphoric one.

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adele set fire to the rain 2How, then, does one set fire to rain metaphorically. One option might be to shine orange light into the rain and make each droplet appear to be on fire, though the fact that when it hit the floor, it would extinguish any existing fires would make this rather pointless in many ways. The option that makes most sense from a 'cover of a single' perspective, is that setting fire relates more to making the rain appear hot, and by appear, this is not raising its temperature, but adding something that is aesthetically 'hot', and by aesthetically hot, this does not mean just the color orange. What could possibly be hotter than a naked girl, except perhaps two naked girls. The revised cover features just this juxtaposition - a naked girl in some rain - who is metaphorically setting fire to the rain by being a hottie. Whether this is what is meant by Ms Adkins is not certain but it is sufficient, aesthetically speaking, to decode the enigma hidden in the song's lyrics.

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Rain - Madonna 
Tuesday, 15 January, 2013, 05:58 - Singles Of The 1990s
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madonna rain 1The Madonna song Rain was released in 1993 and was taken from her album Erotica. The album was published together with a book called Sex which showed Ms Ciccone in many shades of undress but this is not reflected in the cover for this single. The cover for Rain has a picture from Ms Ciccone singing in front of a microphone. There is no evidence of precipiation on the cover whatsoever. This is obviously because the picture was taken indoors and whilst it was raining outdoors, this is not apparent due to the intervening walls. At about this time, Madonna appeared to be very into Japanese culture and the picture is therefore most likely to have been taken on the stage in a Karaoke bar which is perhaps why it is a little blurry.

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madonna rain 2The song remains very popular in Japan to this day and is often sung in karaoke bars including the increasingly popular naked karaoke bars (such as the 'Lamp Turtle Song House' bar in Tokyo). In the revised cover, the picture of Ms Ciccone has clearly had her go at singing and the next singer has taken the stage. Whether this is at the Lamp Turtle Song House or a different naked karaoke bar is unclear, however what is clear is that the new singer is naked (or at least is most likely to be as there is no evidence of clothing). Again, the question of whether or not it is raining does not have a definitive answer but if it was raining when Ms Ciccone was on stage and this is the next singer, unless it was a very short, sharp shower, the downfall outside must still be continuing.

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Umbrella - Rihanna 
Monday, 14 January, 2013, 05:54 - Singles Of The 2000s
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rihanna umberella 1Rihanna's 2007 hit Umbrella was arguably the biggest selling song of 2007 in most countries around the world. The chorus's refrain of 'you can stand under by umber ella, ella, ella, hey, hey, hey, under my umber ella, ella, ella, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey' marks what must be the pinnacle of lyric writing being second only to the lyrics from LL Cool J's 2003 song Paradise which includes the line 'Belly to belly, one hand on the jelly, at the telly on the celly, get that money Ellie' - truly masterful words. The cover of the single has Ms Fenty posing with, guess what, an umber ella ella ella, hey hey hey. It seems someone has thrown a bucket of water at her and whilst in the picture she appears to be dry, she must surely have gotten soaked when the water hit as her umber ella ella ella, hey hey hey, is far too weedy to deal with that level of precipitation.

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rihanna umberella 2Now obviously, the cover of Ms Fenty's single ticks every possible box in that it shows Ms Fenty, and an umber ella ella ella, hey hey hey. There is not much that can be done to improve upon this. But the song does lead itself to having its cover replaced by some alternatives and that is what AllBum.Art is all about. In this first revision, Ms Fenty has been replaced by a different lady (though arguably Ms Fenty is no lady). The new lady (though arguably in that get-up she is no lady either) is carrying an umbrella but little else. It appears she may have been wearing something at some point as she is holding a skimpy piece of cloth in a strategic position to cover her modesty. Or perhaps she had got wet from some rain and as a result had used a cloth to dry herself. What is certain is that her umbrella seems more robust than that of Ms Fenty. Conversely, if she does get wet, she would presumably dry more quickly.

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].

rihanna umberella 3This second revision of the cover is unusual for many reasons. Firstly, the girl pictured seems to think that walking naked in the snow in high heels is a good idea. Actually there are several schools of though on this issue and whilst some argue that it is just plain stupid to be out in freezing and icy conditions in high heels, others argue that the stiletto heel can penetrate snow and provide additional grip (as crampons do for climbers on icy mountains). Secondly, most people tend not to use umbrellas in the snow. It's not that they don't work, just that people forget that snow melts and is just frozen rain. In this respect she is perhaps quite sensible. The fact that the rim of her umbrella matches her shoes is a nice touch. The fact that she is almost completely naked in a park full of snow demonstrates, on the other hand, that she is clearly missing something - and not just her clothes. She will catch a nasty chill like that.

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Singin' In The Rain - Gene Kelly 
Sunday, 13 January, 2013, 05:43 - Singles Released Before 1960
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singin in the rain 1Do de do doo, doo de do de do doody... Few people on the planet Earth are unfamiliar with this classic song, especially the version sung by Gene Kelly. Singin' In The Rain is the song that has come to represent the state of being happy-go-lucky whilst walking around outside and being drenched by pouring precipitation. The song was written in 1929 but became famous in 1952 when it was the title track to the film of the same name. There wasn't really a cover for the single as such, but there has been a cover produced for the DVD of the film that has been adapted to act as a cover for the song. In it we see three characters from the film, in raincoats and with umbrellas who are happily splashing their way through the rain.

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singin in the rain 2The original cover is now over 60 years old (or at least the film is) and so it is rife for modernization. The modernized cover has done away with the three characters from the film, who have been replaced by a single lady (single in this sense meaning that there is just one of her, as it is likely that a lady with her assets and gregariousness must have a boyfriend). The lady is also wearing a raincoat and has an umbrella but unlike Mr Kelly and his ilk, she is also wearing a pair of kinky high heeled yellow boots, a yellow PVC thong, and, it would appear, little else. What seems clear is that she is happy in this outfit and that should it begin to rain, she would remain upbeat though no doubt would get a little cold if the temperature dropped too low.

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Naked In The Rain - Blue Pearl 
Saturday, 12 January, 2013, 05:39 - Singles Of The 1990s
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blue pearl naked in rain 1As titles for songs go, the 1990 hit from Blue Pearl called Naked In The Rain is like a red rag to a bull when it comes to possible twists on the cover art for the single. The original cover shows a blue pearl, which is one of the rarest colours of pearl. The pearl is sat amidst some material which appears to be silk and is also blue in colour. It could be argued that as the pearl is not covered up, it is naked. There is no rain though and although the title of the song is Naked In The Rain, the lyrics make it quite clear that the idea is to go 'dancing naked in the rain'. Pearls, being blobs of calcium carbonate, are unlikely to be able to go dancing and thus the cover of the single, whilst a good attempt, does fail to reflect the charisma of the song.

Click for the full-size image [600px by 600px].

blue pearl naked in rain 2In the revised version, we find a naked girl (or at least she appears naked from the waist upwards, and it must therefore be presumed, especially as she is clearly quite wet, that she hasn't bothered to dress at all). The naked girl is standing in what looks like rain, though given the fact that it is dark, it is not clear whether this is real rain or simulated rain. Either way, water is pouring in drops and covering her body. Is she dancing? Well, she's not having a shower (you can tell because she isn't all soapy and her pose is not one that is normally associated with showering). She may not be dancing, but she is striking a pose so maybe she is dancing to Madonna's Vogue? There does not appear to be a pearl in the picture, but that is not the case - the naked girl is called 'Pearl' and is clearly a precious jewel too.

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Heartbreaker - Mariah Carey 
Friday, 11 January, 2013, 12:02 - Singles Of The 1990s
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mariah carey heartbreaker 1Tink Delorio writes to us from New York (birthplace of Mariah Carey). He says:

It's not often that the cover of a single leaves little to be improved upon. But as Mariah is so cute and has great boobs which are virtually on full display, the cover of the single Heartbreaker should be honored on your site as one that needs no forbetterance.

First off, is 'Tink' really your name. Isn't it short for something. Second, is 'forbetterance' a word?

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mariah carey heartbreaker 2If you are trying to say that you think Mariah is cute and you are happy not to see her tits, then go Tink. But to suggest that there is no forbetterance to be had is pure fortinkerollox (not a great word but you get the idea). What if the lady were not Mariah but someone even more curvy? And what if her t-shirt was pulled up so far that her (exceptionally large) tits were much more visible? Wouldn't that make the cover far, far, better? Such a cover would look something like that on the right, see? Now Tink, doesn't that deliver you the forbetterance you seek?

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Chiquitita - ABBA 
Thursday, 10 January, 2013, 12:51 - Singles Of The 1970s
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abba chiquitita 1The cover from this 1978 single by Swedish songsters ABBA has their pictures on it. That ticks a great big box. But there remains one enormous problem with the cover and with the single itself. The cover does not explain what the fück a Chiquitita actually is. The lyrics are veiled in mystery with lines such as 'shine once more, like you did before'. Thankfully the guy who sits three doors down says he speaks Swedish and claims that 'chiq' is just Swedish for 'chic' and that 'tita' (which apparently should be written 'titå' but presumably has been simplified for English speaking audiences) means tits.

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abba chiquitita 2To help those who don't speak Swedish to understand the song, it would be much more useful if the cover contained a picture of 'chiq's showing us their 'titå', then those crazy Swedes and their off-beat lyrics would be much easier to understand. Of course, that can be fixed, and on the new cover we see two chiqs who are obviously Swedish because they appear to be naked, they are in a sauna, and just like ABBA, one of them is a blonde and the other a brunette. And the fact that they are naked means we can see their titå.

Click for a full-size image [600px by 600px].

P.S. A guy a bit further down the corridor claims that Chiquitita is Spanish for 'little girl' but this makes no sense and so the Swedish translation will, from hereforth, be adopted as the only true meaning.
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