AllBum.Art - Alternative Art-Work for Album and Single Covers

It seems that James's idea of a Gold Mother, is some kind of blurred, watery image of what could possibly be Mary, but could just about be anyone if the original album front cover artwork is a reflection of their opinion. The AllBum.Art opinion on what constitutes a gold mother, is a mature golden-haired babe, wearing a gold basque, and gold high heel shoes. A sexy gold mother [insert your own word to complete the sentence here]. Flim?

What would you expect to see on the cover of an album called A Life Of Surprises? According to Prefab Sprout it would be a tiny picture of three people standing next to, or sitting on, a motorbike. Which may be surprising, but not as surprising as the picture on the remixed front cover. The remix shows a guy who is clearly very surprised that the busty woman standing next to him has slipped off her clothes and is showing him her ample bosom. If he has a life of surprises like that, his life must be very interesting. Expert!

Here comes Missy Elliott and her album Under Construction. The original front cover artwork shows Ms Elliott sitting by a wall with what, in the 1980s, would have been known as a ghetto-blaster. There is no sign of any construction. On the remix are three mature women standing on a building site, wearing (well, almost wearing) protective clothing. It is a wonder that any construction would take place with them standing around, as they would be very distracting. Dig!

Strictly Business is both an album and a single by EPMD. The original cover artwork shows the two band members lazing about in their recording studio. A nice touch is that they are wearing matching black and white sweat-shirts. The remix is much more business-like, as we find a mature babe in the office with sales charts behind her. It looks as if sales are doing badly, so she has resorted to wearing only lingerie as an encouragement to buy whatever it is they are selling. Sold!

What is on show, when You Showed Me, what was it that was shown? On the original single front cover artwork by Salt 'N' Pepa, the band members all seem to be looking at something, but what is it that they are being shown? On the remix is a guy giving a thumbs-up, presumably for the busty mature babe next to him whose outfit shows plenty to start with. Maybe she showed him in more detail which is why he is happy and smiling. Truth!

Probably best known for their single Christmas Wrapping, The Waitresses did have other hits including I Know What Boys Like. Based on the original single front cover artwork, what boys like is a black and white photograph of themselves on a cheap plastic table cloth. The remix seems more realistic as a babe who really knows what boys like demonstrates her logic by sitting on a chair, naked other than her high heels. Positioning!

Whilst we're on the subject, here are another two stars who have failed to understand the meaning of the word Naked. Dev (whose song Dancing Shoes is one of the highest ranked remixes according to the AllBum.Art statistics) and Enrique Iglesias also appear fully clothed on the original single front cover artwork. The remix resolves this problem as a mature babe is undressing whilst a guy sits next to her and watches. How she expects to get her pantyhose off without taking her red high heels off is a puzzle we don't get to solve. Sofa!

Forever Young is what Rod Stewart claims to be. The fact that he has a penchant for dating younger women should come as no real surprise. On the original single cover artwork we find Mr Stewart sitting on a car with a group of 80's-haired concubines. On the remix we find an older babe who is trying to keep forever young by smothering herself in some kind of oil, wearing a skimpy bikini and high heels, and, most apparently, being deft with the use of photo editing tools. Slime!

Drunk In Heels, is probably not the safest situation to be in. On the original single front cover artwork we find Jennifer Nettles standing around in her heels looking slightly tipsy. It is to be hoped she doesn't trip and fall. On the remix we find a mature babe who is wearing high heels and who looks very drunk. Thankfully she is sitting down, which reduces the likelihood of her getting hurt, though that empty bottle next to her is perilously close. Her panties match her heels too, nice touch there. Touch!

The Police are having problems. They have got Spirits In The Material World, which is messing their ability to put together the front cover artwork for their single in the way they had wanted. All they have managed is a fuzzy blue representation of their faces. Let's help them out. On the remix is a busty babe whose spiritual assets are in a material world, transparently. Pond!