Danger, Danger Will Robinson. Oops, not not that one. Try Danger, Danger High Voltage, for that is what Electric Six are warning us about. The original single and album cover does this through the extensive use of the color orange, including a moody orange glitter-ball. The remixed artwork does this through placing a topless babe next to a danger sign at an electricity sub-station. Which has the highest danger factor is for you to decide. Tangerine!
What, you may be asking yourself, are Cemetery Shoes? Let us turn to the infinite wisdom of Johnny Dowd for an answer this question. If the original album front cover artwork is to be believed, it seems to be something to do with sweeping up leaves in a graveyard with an electric guitar. An alternative view is that of the remixed cover which shows a babe standing in a cemetery in a pair of high heeled shoes and her lingerie. Oh, and with an umbrella for good measure. Those kind of shoes, that is what. Misty!
With the name of a song and an album by Kenny Chesney which goes No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems, then the original front cover artwork misses the boat by a county mile as Mr Chesney can clearly be seen on it wearing a shirt. Or a T-shirt at least. On the remix is a babe who is not definitely not wearing a shirt. Whether she is wearing shoes we don't know, because her legs are cut out of the picture. No problems there, are there, then? Torso!
Easy Tiger! That is what this album by Ryan Adams is entitled. This love of endangered animals is illustrated by Mr Adams sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette. Everything is in black and white, except for his digital watch face which for some mysterious reason is green. On the remix we find a babe painted to look like a tiger who is crawling up (or is it down) some stairs. She had better be careful not to rub that paint off on the woodwork. Easy now!
Here comes Missy Elliott and her album Under Construction. The original front cover artwork shows Ms Elliott sitting by a wall with what, in the 1980s, would have been known as a ghetto-blaster. There is no sign of any construction. On the remix are three mature women standing on a building site, wearing (well, almost wearing) protective clothing. It is a wonder that any construction would take place with them standing around, as they would be very distracting. Dig!
There are literally millions of apples in the world, but Lloyd Banks has chosen a Rotten Apple. The original album cover artwork makes this very clear by illustrating, erm, err, uh... Well it doesn't does it? The remix shows a babe who is using the largest rotten apple in existence, that of a computer. Why she is using it without any clothes on is unclear, perhaps that is why it ended up being rotten in the first place, or maybe not. Slink!
American Life is both a single and an album by no other than Madonna. On the original cover artwork, we are informed that American life is best represented by a rebel look with splashes of red paint. On the remix, an alternative view of American life is presented, that of a sexy babe in a derelict building clinging for all her life onto the star spangled banner. You can choose which version of American life you would prefer to decorate your mp3 collection. Independence!
What aspect of the original front cover artwork for Awfully Deep by Roots Manuva is Awfully Deep? Is it that the courtroom scene pictured, was in a room that is fifteen stories underground. Or is it that the scene is metaphorically deep in some psychological way? Meh. The remix simply shows a babe swimming underwater without a bikini or any breathing equipment. This is just as deep. Plunge!
What goes on in a Magic Hotel? Toploader are going to show us. According to the original front cover artwork for their album, a magic hotel is nothing more than a rundown school bus against which you can lean. Nothing magic about that. On the remix is a babe standing in the corridor of a different magic hotel, and the magic of this one is that it has made her clothes become see-through. Be careful of the fire exit. Whalenet!
When Jackson Browne names his album The Naked Ride Home, expectations for the content of the album front cover should be high. The let-down is that it shows just Mr Browne standing by some rusting steelwork. On the remix are two babes who are riding their bikes, and who are naked. The only question remaining is whether they are on their way home, but for their sake, let us hope that is where they are heading rather than a Mormon convention in Utah. Cycle!